Second Chances
by Alaine Althea
Summary: Evangeline was at the lowest point of her life, so when a man named Hawk offered her the opportunity of a lifetime, she quickly accepted-but at what price?
1. Chapter 1

Second Chances

It seemed everything was going wrong in my life. I continually made stupid mistakes until they all piled up and I felt I was drowning in them. The one mistake I made over and over was wanting things too much. I wanted my relationship with my ex- Jason to work out; I wanted my mom to believe in me; I want my brother to forgive me. Want had left me broken and alone. What I _needed _was a fresh start: a second chance.

Chapter One

It was warm and quiet as I lay on top of the blankets on my small bed, in my small room, in the small, two-bedroom apartment I lived in with my mom.

"_This'll be a good day,_" I thought to myself hopefully as I sat up; but then again, how could it not? It was the last day of school.

Waiting until I heard the soft purr of my mom's car drive away, I got out of bed and got ready for my last day of being a sophomore; my last day of having to put up with my mom. After getting dressed, I took one last look at the suitcase I'd had packed for a week now, lying hidden underneath my bed frame. My best friend, Harmony, and I had been planning for me to move in with her and her mom for months. Her mom was fine with it, so I was going to move in as soon as possible.

I began to walk to the door, but paused, realizing I had forgotten the most important thing in my room. Picking up the black, worn, picture frame, I sat back down on my bed again. I stroked the glass, staring reminiscently at the light brown haired teenager with playful, turquoise eyes. The small girl sitting on his shoulders had light violet eyes, and curly auburn hair that bounced while she laughed. I looked in the mirror, and saw my violet eyes, no longer crinkling with laughter, and curly, auburn hair, no longer bouncing playfully. I may have looked like the girl in the picture, but we weren't the same person; not anymore.

I ran my finger over the picture one more time, and tucked it into the bag slung over my shoulder; I needed some reassurance today. Stopping at the door, I took one last look at my room, knowing the last time I'd ever see it was just a few hours away, when Harmony, her mom, and I, would come back to pick up my suitcase. Shutting the door behind me, I walked outside into the warm, summer air. I loved everything about summer; the weather (well, as warm as it got in San Francisco), two months off from school, and it meant my birthday was just around the corner. Birthdays were never anything special; it was usually just Harmony and I going to the movies, but I wasn't concerned so much about the day as I was about what it signified: one year closer to getting out of this city, to having the chance to start over. I was especially looking forward to this birthday; I was turning sixteen. That meant I could drive without an adult, so no one could stop me from out-running my past.

I didn't realize I was daydreaming until I was at the drop-off area of my school, nearly running into the gate.

"_Goodbye sophomore year_," I thought happily, walking through the metal gates.

"Lina!" a bubbly voice screeched, tearing through the crowd of teenagers to come and hug me.

"Hey, Harmony!" I laughed and hugged her.

"It's the last day of school! Oh my gosh, in… 4 hours we're going to be juniors!" she checked her phone to make sure it was 8:30, and finished the sentence by jumping up and down, screaming.

"Harmony, _Harmony_! Calm down!" I laughed and grabbed her shoulders, smirking at her enthusiasm.

"But today's gonna be awesome! It's the last day of school, only half a day I might add, and you're moving in with me! How can I _not_ be jumping to the stars right now?" she smiled from ear to ear, and I had to smile with her. It did seem like one of the best days I could think of.

"Oh, fine, just don't jump too high. I can't have you flying to another planet when I'm staying at your house," I laughed, and walked with her to our Honors English class, which we'd shared as a class for two years now.

I didn't know why, but it always seemed that minimum days dragged by the slowest. Since a minimum day was added to my excitement of moving out, the school day felt like I was trudging through syrup. When the last bell finally rang, I jumped out of my seat, .S-filled yearbook in hand, and rushed out the door to meet up with Harmony. We met up at our usual place: a small tree at the back of the school, and began walking to her mom's car, but I stopped.

"Harmony," I grabbed her arm, "I don't know if I can do this. What if my mom's home when we get there?"

Harmony hugged me, saying everything would be all right.

She pulled away, a comforting look on her face, and asked, "Do you need to play?"

I nodded, and whispered, "I'll meet up with you and your mom in a bit."

"We'll wait," she smiled reassuringly, and walked to her mom's car.

Turning quickly, I nearly sprinted back to the school, and rushed into the music room. I took a calming breath as I sat down in front of the piano in the middle of the room. Brushing my fingers over the keys, I began to play, getting lost in the music. The melody danced through my ears and replaced the anxiety I had felt a few moments before.

Suddenly, a strong arm draped over my shoulders, and I stopped playing, ripped from my fantasy. Turning to look at the rude intruder, I looked into the light brown eyes of my ex-boyfriend, Jason.

I gasped, and slapped his shoulder, sighing, "You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

He chuckled and whispered, "I never knew you could play." I hadn't missed the fact that his arm was still around me.

"Yeah, hardly anybody does," I responded, carefully shrugging his arm off.

Obviously, he hadn't missed my not-to-subtle attempt to make him give me my personal space.

"What, I can't put my arm around my girlfriend?" he murmured in my ear, pretending to sound hurt.

"You and I both know what you did," I responded fiercely, turning my head away from his touch.

"C'mon, Eve, you know she met nothing to me. There's only you; it's always gonna be you," Jason murmured, continuing to move closer to me.

"Jason, _Jason, stop_!" I screeched, pushing his attempts to kiss me away. I jumped off the bench, and stood as far away from him as I could.

A burning look flashed in his eyes, and he whispered darkly, "You're always going to be _mine_. No matter how much you want to fight it, no matter how many other guys come along, you'll always be with _me._" He was standing right in front of me now, pressing me against the wall with his arms on either side of my face. Leaning in slowly, Jason's face was just inches away from mine. I turned my head just as his lips were about to kiss mine, and felt them press against my cheek.

He smirked and pushed off the wall, away from me, and whispered, "Don't worry, you'll realize I'm the only one for you soon enough." He backed away and walked out the door as I wiped my cheek, disgusted at myself for ever liking him. I waited for a few minutes until I was sure Jason was gone, and then left the music room, disappointed in the fact that I was even more nervous than before.

"Don't be such a baby," I muttered to myself, "You're going to have to do this eventually."

I didn't realize I was walking quickly until I nearly ran into Harmony's car. Taking a deep breath, I opened the silver mini-van's door, and ducked inside, placing my bag carefully on my lap.

"Ready, hon?" Harmony's mom asked soothingly.

I nodded, sticking my hand inside the canvas material, and felt the worn-out frame; I needed a bit of courage.

Harmony took my hand that wasn't stroking the picture frame, and squeezed it, ssmiling reassuringly. I smiled back, grateful that I had someone like Harmony in my life; without her I- well, I wasn't exactly sure where I'd be.

The drive to my- my _mom's_ house was fairly silent, except for Harmony's and my quiet humming along to Taylor Swift and Bruno Mars. Before I knew it, her mom parked in front of the small, off-white apartment I had lived in for 10 years.

"We'll be right here," Harmony whispered, her light gray eyes full of encouragement.

I smiled nervously and hugged her before climbing out of the car, and walked slowly toward the apartment. Not bothering to see if the door was locked (it never was) I opened the door quietly, peering my head inside. Despite the strong smell of alcohol, the smell that always seemed to occupy our house, it seemed there wasn't anyone inside. Turning back to Harmony and her mom, I smiled and nodded, letting them know everything was okay. Taking a deep breath, I rushed inside, and carefully placed my bag on the kitchen table before running up the stairs to my room. Pulling up the covers of my bed, I grabbed the handle of the suitcase and sprinted down the stairs with it dragging behind me. At the bottom of the stairs, I stopped and my breath caught. I stood looking at my very drunk, and very angry mother.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Where d'ya think yoour goin'?" my mother asked drunkenly, swaying on her feet.

I stood up straighter, and replied, "Mom, I'm leaving."

"Noo, you can't leave," she cried, turning around and leaning on the table. It took a moment before she noticed my bag on the table, with the worn-out picture peeking out of the canvas flap. She grabbed it angrily and turned back to me, her blue eyes crazy with anger.

"Why do you have this?" she accused me furiously, "You don't have the _right_ to have this! It's _your_ fault he's dead! You should've- you should've died that day, not him! Not my boy, not my perfect Casey." She began crying angrily, and threw the picture against the wall.

"No!" I screamed, running to the picture. My mom caught my wrist before I could get there, and shook me roughly be the shoulders, screaming that I wasn't leaving; that I couldn't be happy if Casey was dead.

"Let me go!" I shrieked, but instead, she backhanded me across my face, and I crumpled to the floor, crying weakly. She kicked my stomach and I rolled over in pain, refusing to scream, not giving her the satisfaction.

"Lina?" Harmony asked worriedly through the door.

"_No_," I thought, wishing I could get the words out.

My mother opened the door quickly, blocking Harmony's view inside the apartment.

"You need to leave," she said acidly, closing the door behind her as she ushered Harmony outside.

"No," I whispered, forcing myself off of the ground. I clutched my side and wiped blood from my mouth as I limped outside. My mother had her back towards me, and Harmony was staring at her with wide, gray eyes. I should have guessed why she looked so terrified. Running as quickly as I could, I put myself between Harmony and my mom. Suddenly, I heared a loud bang, which reminded me of the sound of fireworks, and I fell to the ground. I didn't feel the pain until I saw the blood.

"Lina!" Harmony screamed, kneeling down beside me. I whimpered quietly, trying to tell her to leave, but she stayed, putting herself between my mother and me. Could I really call her my mother now, after abusing me, wishing I were dead, and shooting me? What could I call her if she was less of a mother to me than Harmony's mom? I wished I could change my last name, and have no relationship with her; I wished I could have Harmony's last name, Bloemer, and be a sister again; feel like a daughter again.

I wasn't sure when I blacked out, but the next thing I knew, I was being rushed into the hospital, with Harmony and her mom running next to me.

Mrs. Bloemer smoothed my hair off my forehead, and whispered, "It's all right, honey; everything's going to be okay. You're just gonna go to sleep for a bit."

Tears began to slip down my cheeks, and she smiled reassuringly. Harmony was on my other side, and took my left hand; that was the scariest moment of my life; I couldn't feel her holding my hand. My eyes widened as I tried to move my fingers, but my arm was completely numb; it was as if the part of my brain attached to my arm had snapped, and it wasn't a part of my body anymore. The doctor, a kind-looking man with thin, brown hair pressed a gas mask over my mouth and nose; I didn't have time to be scared because I slipped into unconsciousness almost instantly.

The first time I woke up, everything was foggy. I vaguely remembered a man sitting in the chair next to my lumpy hospital bed, but taking one look at my limp arm in a sling, I passed out immediately. The next few times I woke up were unpleasant to stay the least. My doctor, Dr. Faule, visited every day, and checked the monitors, but I hardly ever stayed awake for the whole check-up. I felt as though my mind was trapped in a prison, fighting to break through its foggy barriers. A part of me wondered if I ever wanted to stay awake; if I ever wanted to face the horrible truth.

A few weeks after I had been admitted into the hospital, I stayed up longer, sitting in the lumpy hospital bed, waiting for a miracle that would never come. One night, I woke up as I usually did (my sleeping patterns were seriously messed up), and it was dark in the small hospital room; I assumed someone had closed the blinds. There were books and magazines stacked neatly on the table next to my railed bed, and beside them sat a man. He was dark-skinned, with short, tightly curled hair, and wore sunglasses and a suit, despite the darkness of the room.

"Who are you?" I asked weakly.

"Hello, Evangeline. My name is Hawk," he replied in a creepy, formal way.

"Do I know you?"

"No, but I know you- and your incredible talent on the piano," he added.

"How do you know about that? Hardly anyone does," I responded quickly, getting extremely bad vibes from this guy.

"I have my ways," he smiled slyly.

"Why are you here?" I demanded, frustrated with his vague answers.

"Evangeline, I am a number one record producer in L.A."

"No, you're not," I responded smugly, "Gustavo Rocque is."

"He is," he began sadly, "but he's not supposed to be. His band, Big Time Rush, stole my songs and recorded them as their own."

"_No way,_" I thought fiercely, "_They seem better than that; Big Time Rush probably has more talent than this guy will ever have_."

"What? Why should I believe that?" I questioned, speaking the more polite question in my head.

"Think about it this way," he replied, "Who would you believe, someone who's willing to sign you, or a group of hockey-playing teenagers from Minnesota that, might I add, you've never met before?"

"Sign me? I'd hate to break it to you, Hawk, but the doctors- they said I'd never be able to play again. I think you've gone to the wrong girl."

That conversation was one I'd never forget. My doctor, Dr. Faule, had come into my room for his daily check-up, but his face was different that time: less reassuring, and guiltier. He sat on my bed, and patted my arm; then said quietly, "Evangeline, we've done the best we can, but I'm sorry; it's nearly impossible for you to be able to use your arm again." I cried the whole day, not wanting to see anyone, including Harmony. Why should I want to live, when playing the piano was my whole life?

Hawk began to speak again, and broke me from my horrible memory.

"Evangeline, I can help you be able to use your arm again if you just come with me to L.A. and tell me whatever you learn about that song-stealing band, Big Time Rush."

"Why would you want to help me?" I demanded sadly.

"I can see how upset you are, and thought I'd be able to help. Besides, wouldn't you want a second chance to start over in Los Angeles?" he replied sweetly.

"I guess," I muttered thoughtfully.

"But what about Harmony? I can't leave her."

"Harmony can come with you," he replied instantly, seeming to want to make sure I'd go with him no matter what.

"Do I have your word that I'll be able to use my arm and you'll sign me if I just do what you ask?" I asked quietly.

He leaned closer, and replied in a deeper voice, "You have my word."

"Ok," I muttered, still doubtful, "How should I contact you?"

"I'll be in town for the next couple of days. Rebecca, give her my card." A blonde in high heels with a fake smile walked over to my bed and placed a small business card on my bedside table.

"Call me when you decide." Hawk stood up and walked towards the door, but turned around before leaving.

"You should really think about this, Evangeline. It would be good for you."

It took me a long time to make my decision; I would stay up all night, wondering what I should do: whether or not I could leave my life in San Francisco to try to make it in Hollywood. Some nights, I couldn't tell whether or not I was asleep because my dreams felt so real. The night I made my decision was following the most amazing dream I had ever dreamt: I could use my arm again. I wondered how the simplest dreams could be so magical, but I knew it was the one thing I wanted the most- the one thing I needed was impossible to have, which I found extremely strange. Weren't the things people needed supposed to be reachable? Despite my annoyed thoughts, the dream was absolutely amazing. It was a warm, summer evening: too warm to be San Francisco, and I sat on a stool in front of a piano. I remembered looking up and seeing a beautiful sunset resting on the rooftops of a colossal city. In the distance, I could make out the large, white letters spelling out, "Hollywood."

"Play, Angie." I immediately recognized my brother's voice, a frequent narrator of my dreams.

I smiled sadly, tears gathering in my eyes; I loved hearing Casey's voice, but I wished I could see him just once.

"You can, Angie," Casey laughed, his voice no longer echoing as it normally did.

"Casey?" I asked, astonished.

"Hey, little sis'," he answered, in the soothing tone I had longed to hear for more than ten years.

"You're back!" I cried, and turned around. Casey, with his carefree, blue-eyed smile, stood with his arms wide open. I rushed into his arms, and cried into the same sweatshirt he wore the last day I saw him.

"I never left, Angie," he whispered, resting his cheek on my head.

"Why haven't I seen you before, then?" I demanded quietly.

"This is the first time you've needed my help," he replied proudly, "You've been so strong over these past ten years."

"Almost eleven," I added sadly.

"That's right, it was your birthday that day," Casey remembered guiltily.

"Why do you feel guilty?" I demanded, on the verge of tears, "This whole thing is my fault. It should've been me, not you. You shouldn't have died!" I cried, balling loudly.

"No, no, honey, you can't think that. Angie, shh, it's all right," he crooned, rubbing my back in small circles.

"But it's true! If I hadn't gotten so close to the edge-" I broke off, crying hysterically.

"What has Mom done to you?" Casey's quiet, loving voice was heartbroken, and he squeezed me once more before holding me at arms length by the shoulders. Even though Casey still looked sixteen, and I was almost the same age as him now, he still had to bend down to look into my eyes.

"Angie, you're my baby sister. You always _will_ be my baby sister, even though I don't age anymore. Being your big brother means that I will always protect you, and I will always be there for you, no matter what. I'd go back and save you every day, because I love you, and I'll always be there to make sure you live the future I've seen for you. You're gonna do _amazing_ things one day, Angie, but you can't get there if you keep blaming yourself for my decision."

I sniffled and wiped my eyes; then rushed into Casey's arms again. He chuckled lightly and smoothed my hair.

Because I was so stressed, I assumed it was all right for me to have missed the fact that I was using my arm until that moment.

I gasped, and pulled away from Casey, inspecting my hand as I wiggled my fingers and moved my wrist in small circles. Looking up at Casey, whose brilliant smile nearly made my worry disappear, my mouth dropped open in astonishment.

"This is your dream," Casey whispered, "You control what happens."

My face dropped; a small part of me hoped I wasn't dreaming, but I wasn't that lucky; this was too good to be mine.

"Hey," Casey whispered, lifting up my chin, "Don't be too upset; things'll turn around soon."

"I sure hope so," I muttered sadly, "Things haven't been exactly great lately. Casey, I don't know what to do! Do I trust my head and go to L.A. to get my arm back, or do I follow my heart, which is telling me that I don't have the right to risk the reputation of four, seemingly sweet guys from Minnesota?"

Casey sighed and answered, "Angie, I can't give you the answer to that. You just have to do what's best for you."

"So I should go to L.A. with Hawk?" I asked quietly. Casey shrugged and I growled.

"Whatever you do, honey, I know you'll make the right choice in the end," he whispered.

"What does that mean?" I demanded, uber-confused by his guru talking.

He laughed and replied, "Just listen to your heart; when you're making it big in Hollywood, just make sure you're getting to the top because of your talent, not because you're bringing people down in order to get there."

"So I should do both? Go to L.A., but make sure I don't hurt Big Time Rush's reputation?" I asked, hoping the plan forming in my head would work.

Casey smiled. "I knew you'd figure it out on your own."

I laughed and hugged him once again, not able to get over the fact that he was actually here, if not for just a moment.

"Angie, I have to leave soon. It's time you went back to reality," Casey whispered sadly, squeezing me even tighter.

"No! You can't leave me; not again," I cried, tears threatening to come pouring down my cheeks again.

"I'm never gonna leave you, Angie," he replied, and pulled away from me slightly. He took my hand and walked me over to the piano.

"Play, Angie," he whispered once again, sitting next to me on the stool.

I looked in Casey turquoise eyes, afraid this would be the last time I'd see him.

"Don't worry, Angie, you'll see me again. I promise."

I smiled bravely, but my quiet crying made it difficult for my smile to last much longer than a few seconds. I turned my attention to the piano and took a deep breath, before beginning to play. After a few moments, I began to sing softly, needing to sing the song I had been writing over the past few months.

_This life's not for second-guessin',_

_It's not for findin' all you're missin',_

_It's for lovin' those you've already found,_

_But can I love when you're gone because of me_.

I paused briefly to look at Casey; he looked upset, but didn't say anything, so I continued to sing.

_That day's scarred in the back of my mind,_

_I was young and too close to the edge._

_You pulled me back just in time, _

_But the river stole you instead._

_I blame myself for letting you go,_

'_Cuz you taught me all I should know,_

_You taught me how to laugh, to love, to live,_

_But how can I laugh when all I do is cry,_

_How can I love when all I say's "Goodbye,"_

_I'd live, but you're gone and I know why._

_Maybe I got what I deserved,_

_But how could fate take you from me,_

_From this world,_

_All I know is that, it wasn't your time to go._

I glanced over again, and Casey's body began to disappear in a swirling mist of water. I took his hand one last time before it, too, transformed into mist; then Casey was gone. I cried quietly, and continued to sing brokenly as tears flowed consistently down my cheeks.

_You had so much to live for,_

_So many to love, so much to look toward,_

_But the river came and washed your dreams away,_

_It left me here and took you away._

_I blame myself for letting you go,_

'_Cuz you taught me all I should know,_

_You taught me how to laugh, to love, to live,_

_But how can I laugh when all I do is cry,_

_How can I love when all I say's goodbye,_

_I'd live but you're gone and I know why._

_I know you'd want me to move on,_

_To love again even though you're gone,_

_I'll try to love but I'll never forget,_

_What made me feel all this regret._

_For you I'll live, laugh and love,_

_Try to move on from all that reminds me of,_

_That summer day,_

_The river took you away._

'_Cuz I blame myself for letting you go,_

'_Cuz you taught me all I should know,_

_You taught me how to laugh, to love, to live._

_Now I'll try to laugh, and try not to cry,_

_I'll learn to love without ending "Goodbye,"_

_I'll live again, but never forget,_

_What made me feel all this regret._

"I miss you, Casey," I whispered; then slipped out of my dream and faced the reality I had to accept.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Ohmygoodness," Harmony began when I told her what Hawk had said. "We're goin' to L.A?"

I nodded, smiling widely, and Harmony shrieked, jumping up and down.

"Not so loud, please?" I whimpered, still dizzy from the pain medications Dr. Faule continuously drowned me with.

"Sorry," she whispered guiltily, still smiling from ear to ear.

"Okay, I'm risking a serious headache here, but there's more."

Her eyes widened in excitement, and she waited eagerly.

"We're gonna meet Big Time Rush," I whispered quickly, and squinted my eyes closed fearfully.

After a moment, I opened my eyes, and giggled hysterically when I saw Harmony's face. She stared blankly at me, with her mouth hanging down to her chest.

"Earth to Harmony!" I laughed, waving my hand in front of her face.

"Meeting. We're. Big. Rush. Time?" she choked out, still staring at me in astonishment.

"Yes, Harmony, we're meeting Big Time Rush," I giggled, and she burst out of her bubble of disbelief to hug me.

"Ohmygosh, this is gonna be so much fun!" Harmony whispered excitedly, and I smiled at her attempt to save me from the headache I already had.

"It's not gonna be all fun," I warned her, and her face turned humorously seirous.

"Oh, of course. Long days of playing music, bathing in the sun-"

"Harmony, listen. The only reason Hawk is gonna sign me is because he wants me to spy on Big Time Rush."

"What? But you wouldn't do that, right?"

"Of course not. And besides, I don't particularly trust this guy; but I have a plan that I need your help with."

Harmony's face lit up and she replied, saluting me, "At your service, Ma'am."

"Wow, Harmony," I laughed.

"What?" she asked innocently, clasping her hands and rocking back and forth on her toes and heels like a little kid who had taken a cookie from the table before dinner.

I shook my head and laughed.

"Okay, here's what we have to do. For the first few weeks, about once a week, you and I will bring fake information to Hawk about Big Time Rush, and in the meantime, we'll be trying to find a way to get Gustavo to sign us. So when Hawk figures out we tricked him, we won't need him or his money anymore."

"Wait, but Lina, you can't, you know, play anymore. And we? You know I'm not a performer. And what about Hawk getting your arm fixed? You know he won't if you betray him."

"Yes, but I can still sing; I might not be the best, but neither are a lot of singers in Hollywood. And yes, you are, Harmony; you know how well you play the guitar. And as for Hawk fixing my arm," I sighed, pausing briefly and said, "Sometimes you have to make sacrifices in order to do what's right."

I felt warm in that instant, and I knew Casey was there; I knew he was proud of the decision I was making.

"I guess I can't argue with an awesome plan like that," Harmony sighed and rolled her eyes at me playfully.

"I guess you can't," I smiled smugly. She hugged me awkwardly over the railed bed, and I squeezed her back, sadly wondering if I'd ever be able to hug someone fully again.

"Okay, so I have to take to my mom, but she's probably gonna be fine with it. If not, she could probably come with us right?" Harmony rambled nervously, and looked at me, eyes a mixture of excitement and craze.

I nodded. "Something tells me an extra person isn't gonna be a problem for Hawk if he really wants me to go to L.A. with him."

"Okay!" she nearly shrieked, bouncing with excitement.

"So you're sure about this? This plan isn't exactly going to be easy to go through with," I asked worriedly, anxiously smoothing the canvas covering my limp arm.

"I'm absolutely positive. I couldn't live with myself knowing I was the one holding you back from your dreams."

"And I couldn't bear it if I went without my best friend," I replied, smiling tiredly.

She nodded, smiling. "You should get some sleep now; you still shouldn't be up for more than an hour at a time."

I rolled my eyes, but didn't argue. The hours I had stayed up following my dream had begun to take its toll, and I found myself struggling to keep my eyes open.

"I'll talk to my mom while you sleep, all right?" she nudged, and I smiled as she stood up from the wobbly hospital chair. As she left the room, I relaxed into the pillows and allowed my eyes to slip closed.

A few weeks later, Harmony, Mrs. Bloemer, and I stepped into the warm, Los Angeles air. Harmony stood smiling brilliantly; with her dark blue guitar case slung over one shoulder. As the shiny, black stretch limousine pulled into the loading zone, her smile immediately faded as she glanced nervously at me. I smiled reassuringly; Hawk believed our story; that was the only part of moving to L.A. I was sure about.

The day after I had told Harmony my plan, I called Hawk and told him I'd accepted his offer. I could pratically hear his smile of contentment through the phone as he said, "You won't regret this, Evangeline. I'll have Rebecca send you three tickets- first class of course- to L.A. I'll have a limousine waiting for you upon your arrival." He hung up before I could respond politely with a faked "Thank you."

I snapped back to reality as the limo door was opened by a tight-faced, elderly gentlement in a black suit. A smiling Hawk greeted us as we stepped inside; I took longer than Harmony and her mom as my limp arm dangled annoyingly by my side.

"I assume your flight was pleasant?" Hawk stated, making the assumption sound like a question.

"It was very nice, thank you," Mrs. Bloemer replied kindly, while Harmony and I continued to fake calm smiles of gratitude.

The limo drove away from the airport, and I stared out the tinted window, absently stroke my lifeless, cold fingers.

"What do you think, Evangeline?" Hawk asked sweetly, and I blinked, turning my attention to him.

"Sorry?" I asked stupidly.

"Would you like to stay at the Palm Woods?" he repeated politely.

"_Palm Woods_," I thought, "_That must be where Big Time Rush stays."_

I nodded and Hawk smiled, giving me a subtle wink only I noticed.

I smiled nervously and averted my gaze to the palm trees flashing by.

The rest of the drive to the Palm Woods was fairly silent- at least I thought it was. My mind drifted off into a fantasy world a few moments after discussing moving into the Palm Woods. Before I knew it, the sleek black limousine pulled in front of the home of future actors, singers, musicians, and any other person that wanted to make it big in Hollywood.

After Hawk's many assistants helped Harmony, Mrs. Bloemer, and I get our luggage out, the limo sped away, and we walked through the doors to the Palm Woods.

"Good afternoon, ladies, and welcome to the Palm Woods," a large, middle-aged man greeted us.

"Thank you," Mrs. Bloemer replied sweetly, and the man tipped his square, prescription glasses, awkwardly smiling.

"Um, we're gonna go look around," Harmony cut in hastily, giving me an _oh-my-gosh-he's-flirting-with-my-mom_ look.

I contained a giggle bubbling on my lips as Harmony pulled me away quickly.

We walked into the main lobby and were immediately greeted by a bubbly, blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl, and, I assumed, her boyfriend, a kind-looking singer from Minnesota with deep brown eyes, spikey brown hair, and a charming, bright white smile: Logan Mitchell from Big Time Rush.

"Hey, welcome to the Palm Woods," he smiled warmly, and my heart skipped a beat.

I shared an _oh-my-gosh-Logan's-talking-to-us_ look with Harmony before replying just as nonchalantly.

"Hey, thanks. I'm Evangeline, and this is Harmony."

"Evangeline- that's a pretty name. It's Greek, right? Well, my name's Logan and this is my girlfriend, River," he replied sweetly and I blushed; River raised her eyebrows slightly.

"_Uh oh_," I thought hastily, "_Jealous girlfriend_."

Attempting to hide my blushing, I replied, "Nice to meet you. Harmony and I are _huge_ fans of your band."

"Really? You don't seem like the typical fans we get; you know, screaming, tearing at our clothes…" he smiled, and I shook my head, a dazed look crossing my face.

I pictured a mob of teenageres surrounding them, each covering her face with both hands, each tearing at their clothes, trying just to touch the boys' arms or faces, with both arms.

I stroked my cold arm absently; my cheeks grew warm and wet, as I tasted salt water.

"Evangeline? Is she all right? Did I say something?" I heard Logan ask Harmony anxiously.

"She's just been through a lot lately; it's a long story. It wasn't anything you said," Harmony reassured him, and I walked quickly away, tears pouring down my cheeks.

I walked quickly out to the Palmwoods pool, and fell into a blindingly white lawn chair. Pulling my knees to my chest, I rested my head on the tops of my knees shamefully.

"Great, now Logan probably thinks I'm completely crazy," I muttered just a bit too loudly.

"No, he doesn't," a soothing voice reassured me.

I looked up and saw Harmony, concerned etched into her pale skin.

"This was a mistake wasn't it? Coming here?" Harmony asked quietly.

"No," I replied firmly, "I'm just tired, and lost it for a minute. I'm sure, after a good night's sleep, we'll be fine, and we'll figure out what to do from here tomorrow."

"Okay," she replied a bit doubtfully, and we walked to our hotel room, 2I.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

When we walked into the room, I had intended to go to sleep straight away, but after half an hour, several loud yells and banging on the walls kept me awake. I could have sworn I heard someone yell "CORN DOGS!" before a loud crash and what sounded like several broken pieces of furniture. Extremely upset with my new neighbors' ignorance, I stormed out of our room and banged on their door. Harmony followed shortly after, wiping her eyes sleepily due to the late hour. Within a few seconds and several loud knocks on the door, four extremely handsome guys opened the door.

"Evangeline?" Logan asked, and I blinked, at a loss for words. I glanced to my right and noticed Harmony was just as silent. Turning my attenttion back to Big Time Rush, I noticed James staring with dazed hazel eyes straight at Harmony. I smiled hugely, before remembering I was supposed to be mad at them.

"Hey, sorry, but would you guys mind keeping it down? It's 11 o'clock, and Harmony and I have had a long day," I explained.

"Oh, sure, sorry," Logan apologized, grinning sheepishly.

"That's all right," I responded, smiling despite my exhaustion.

I looked over once again, and noticed James was still staring at Harmony, not seeming to be able to take his eyes off of her. Harmony glanced at him shyly once in a while, and finally gathered up the courage to talk to him.

"May I help you?" she asked in a completely innocent voice that nearly made me laugh.

He blinked rapidly, and, seeming to regain his "cool" said, "Do you have a boyfriend?"

"I'm sorry?" she responded, completely shocked. He repeated the question, and she responded, "No."

"Do you want one?" he asked, giving her "The Face."

She giggled, and replied, "That depends on who asks me."

"Oh," he said, and his face fell in mock disappointment, "Well, when you want a MAN friend, come and talk to me."

Logan, Carlos, and Kendall groaned loudly as Harmony blushed. Logan made a let's-get-out-of-here face, and I nodded. We walked quickly down the hall, giggling at James' completely cheesy success at asking Harmony out.

After a few moments, when we were well away from our suites, Logan asked, "So what's your story?" I froze momentarily, but made my way back to reality after a few seconds.

"Are you all right?" he asked worriedly, "Every once in a while you get really pale and seem like you're somewhere else."

I sighed, and said, "It's a long story," knowing that was the most I could handle.

"I have time," he nudged, taking my hand to face him. For a moment, my breath caught, until I remembered River.

As much as I hated myself after asking, I questioned, "Don't you have a girlfriend?"

He blushed slightly as his eyes widened, and dropped my hand immediately.

"Sorry," he apologized quietly, and looked down ashamedly.

"It's all right," I assured him, forcing a smile; an expression I hadn't worn in days.

"No, it's not. I shouldn't be here; I have to go," he whispered, and rushed past me to his suite.

A rejected tear slid down my face, but I supposed I couldn't be surprised; it seemed like nothing good seemed to happen to me.

Wiping the tear from my cheek, I moped back to our room, and hid shamefully under the teal covers.

The next morning, I had shaken off the embarassing moment with Logan, and was determined to start my plan to fix my life.

After Harmony and I grabbed a quick breakfast, we headed down to the lobby; Harmony still blushing from her experience with James as she anxiously toyed with the guitar case slung over her shoulder.

"Harmony, you know I love you, but can you stop acting like you're hiding something? I know this is going to be difficult, and I know you're completely in love with James, but we can't give anything away; we have to much to lose," I asked her, and she dropped her hand immediately, smiling at me sheepishly.

"So what _is_ the plan exactly?" Harmony asked.

"Well, first we have to figure out how to get Gustavo to hear us perform. Then, if he likes us, we'll have to settle contracts, and figure out how to deal with Hawk," I responded, realizing this could be more complicated than I hoped.

"Oh boy," Harmony muttered, but smirked at me reassuringly.

"Ready?" I smiled before walking into the lobby.

"Definitely," she replied, and we walked into the lobby, immediately met by a heated argument between Logan and James, debating whether or not Barracuda Man Spray was causing Global Warming.

"Okay, for one, Barracuda Man Spray is the world's best invention, so there's no way it could do anything harmful; two, there's no such thing as _Global Warming_; and quatro, I use Barrucuda Man Spray, so, obviously, it's impossible for it to be bad," James argued, using a variety of- interesting- hand gestures and facial expressions.

"Seriously, James? Barracuda Man Spray _is not_ the world's best invention; maybe Alexander Graham Bell's telephone, or even Mark Zuckerberg's Facebook. And, yes, there is such thing as Global Warming; why do you think the ice caps are melting as the weather is quickly changing its patterns? Also, as much as you want to believe it, James, just because you do something doesn't make it absolutely perfect," Logan responded, speaking calmly and clearly; as impartial as I tried to be, I couldn't help but to side with Logan.

I looked over at Harmony and saw her attempting to hide a giggle as she stared incredulously at James. Carefully, she snuck her way into the conversation, seeming to be ready to avoid punches, and poked James on the shoulder.

"You must be joking," Harmony began, and James looked over at her with wide eyes, and then smiled when he realized who he was looking at.

"And why is that?" he grinned, with sparkling eyes that made Harmony beam.

"I'm sorry, but I have to agree with Logan on this one," she continued, and James' face dropped in exaggerated surprise.

"With all of the toxins in that stuff, there's no way it isn't harmful to the environment," she explained, and looked hesitantly at James. He raised one eyebrow, glanced at his large can of man spray, and then tossed the can over his shoulder, and wrapped his long arm around Harmony's thin shoulders. Looking up dreamily into James hazel eyes, the two began to walk out to the pool, and I rolled my eyes, smirking.

"Uh, Harmony, are you forgetting something?" I laughed before she could rush out to the pool.

"We have things to do today, remember?"

She turned around sheepishly, murmured a quick apology in James' ear, and quickly joined me once again.

Looking quickly over my shoulder, I addressed James, saying, "Don't worry, she'll be back," and he smiled, waving at Harmony.

She blushed and shouldered me lightly, glancing back at James every few seconds until we walked out the door. As we walked through the sliding glass door, I stole a quick glance at Logan, and saw him staring sadly at me. He caught my glance and looked away quickly. I sighed and turned back to Harmony, who was still sharing a smiling gaze with James.

"C'mon Harmony," and grabbed her arm, forcing a teasing smile.

The sleek black limousine waited for us in front of the building, and we climbed in, heading off to our first meeting with Hawk.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Due to Hawk's many assistants, limousines, and his ability to fly three people to Los Angeles and pay for their suite for their entire stay, I supposed I shouldn't have been surprised when Harmony and I walked into Hawk Records. The main foyer was massive, with a slightly over-excessive chandelier dangling in the center of the room, just in front of the main desk. Large platinum albums, awards, and photographs lined the walls. All in all, it seemed like Hawk's way of letting everyone know that he was rich, successful, and, most of all, powerful.

"Hawk will see you now," a tight-faced brunette said, ushering Harmony and I through large, black double-doors.

"Good afternoon, ladies," Hawk smiled, and gestured for us to take our seats in large, leather chairs.

"So, what do you lovely girls have to tell me about Big Time Rush?" he asked politely, folding his hands on top of his professional-looking mahogany desk.

"So far, not much, we just met them today," I began carefully, hoping to give as little detail as possible.

"I can understand that," he began slowly, calmly, but the penetrating gaze afterward made my breath catch.

"I do hope you both are aware of just _how_ exactly you are here; hope you know just _how_ easy it was for me to bring you here, and just _how _easy it would be for me to send you back, with nothing to live for," his words swirled through the air, creating a tight vise around my neck as I sensed the situation turn increasingly dangerous for Harmony and me.

"Your plan was quite clever, I must say," he continued, and my heart stopped beating for a moment, my lungs squeezing tightly closed as I struggled to remain calm, despite the icy terror that gripped my chest.

"It probably would have worked, had I not been- well me," he laughed a frightening chuckle, filling the room with a darkening sense of threat.

I looked at Harmony, terrified of the inevitable danger we had gotten ourselves into, and she simply stared blankly back at me, her large, almond-shaped gray eyes even larger than usual in fear, covered slightly by her smooth, waist-length ebony hair that cascaded over her small frame, creating a small curtain around her angular face.

Slowly, I turned my attention back to Hawk, and waited for the end of his hostile monologue.

"I suppose I should have warned you ladies that I see _everything_," he smiled slyly, glancing purposefully at the large men in black suits lining each door.

"From now on, you will both be under close watch. You _will_ do everything I say, and you _will_ help me take back what is rightfully mine from Big Time Rush. I know everything about you two, and know exactly how to turn both of your lives upside down. Let's just say the next time you try to double-cross me will be your last," he ended his threat with a lingering smile, and every bone in my body shook at the intensity of his gaze. With that, Harmony and I were escorted from the room, and ran into the warm, Hollywood air in near hysterics.

"Lina, what are we going to do?" Harmony breathed, leaning against the wall of a tall building as silent tears flowed down her cheeks.

"I don't know," I admitted quietly, feeling warm, salty tears flow down my cheeks as well. The terrified part of me wanted to run back to San Francisco, and forget about my dreams of becoming famous and getting my arm back. But I knew Hawk would find me; knew he would hunt me down until he got what he wanted. The vain, self-centered part of me, however small it was before, wanted to stay in Hollywood, and do as Hawk asked: to protect Harmony and myself. But neither of those options coincided with what my heart told me: I couldn't betray Big Time Rush, and the promise I made to Casey, anymore than I could betray Harmony.

"_But this would be worse than betraying Harmony. If I keep my promise to Casey, there's a good chance Hawk will follow through with his threat. 'The next time you betray me will be your last'._" There was no doubt in my mind that Hawk _would_ kill us. I couldn't do that to Harmony: couldn't risk her safety for the sake of my conscience.

"We have to do what Hawk wants us to," I told her quietly, knowing it was our only option at this point.

"What?" she asked in disbelief, staring at me incredulously with wide gray eyes.

"But what about James, and Carlos, and Kendall? What about Logan? Don't even try to deny it; I know you like him," she demanded angrily, seeming to be disgusted that I would betray them.

"Harmony, if we don't do what Hawk asks, he's going to kill us!" I exclaimed, looking around quickly, hoping no one had overheard my outburst.

"I can't let myself see you get hurt; you're my best friend, and, right now, you're the closest thing to family I have," I explained, ending in a whisper as my throat constricted with tears.

Her eyes warmed understandingly, and she hugged me, both of us crying loudly as people walked by, giving us curious looks.

"We'll get through this, I promise. No matter what we have to do, we'll get through this," she assured me, and faced me, previously disappointed, cold gray eyes now warm with both concern and love.

"What do you think we should do, then?" I asked her quietly, feeling so helpless I could barely stand it.

"For now, I think I have to agree with you. We have no choice but to do what Hawk says, because we can't afford to find out what exactly Hawk plans to do if we betray him," she began, a grim expression painted on her face.

"But I think, at some point, Big Time Rush will find out. Maybe, at some point, Hawk will let us out of his deal, after he gets the information he wants, and then we can explain it to the guys before they find out on their own," she nodded hopefully, but I couldn't help imagine the boys' faces if they found out on their own about our betrayal.

"It just feels so wrong, you know?" I whispered, knowing before I asked the question that Harmony felt the same way.

"I can't help but feeling we're choosing wrong, even if it's the only option that keeps us alive in the end. We're not even sixteen yet, and we're already being faced with an impossible decision. Either we do the moral thing, and refuse to do what Hawk asks, or we try to stay safe, and betray our friends," I sighed, but, extremely unexpectedly, Harmony smiled hugely, seeming to remember a hilarious joke.

"Did I miss something?" I asked, utterly confused.

"What's the date today?" she asked randomly, avoiding the question.

"Um, Wednesday, July 2nd, why?" I told her, but she just shrugged, smiling secretively.

"Okay, well, back to the topic of issue; are we just going to go along with what Hawk tells us to?" I asked after shaking my head and rolling my eyes.

"How about we don't worry about this until we have to?" Harmony suggested, pleading silently with me.

"And when would that be? We can't put this off for much longer-" I began, but she cut me off excitedly.

"Just give me until Saturday, okay? Then we can worry as much as you want; just give me until Saturday," she begged, literally clasping her hands together in a begging gesture.

I sighed, shook my head at her strange excitement, and finally said, "Okay, but that's as late as I'll go. Our next meeting with Hawk is Tuesday."

"Yay, thank you!" she shrieked, and hugged me. I shook my head in amazement at how she could turn a previously doomful situation into one of excitement.

"So are you going to tell me _why_, exactly, you're so excited?" I questioned, knowing the answer before I asked.

"Nope," she grinned, and I glared; I hated surprises.

When we got back to the Palm Woods, it seemed like our awful situation was contagious; or, the universe just decided to make every bad thing happen on the same day. With my luck, both were equally possible.

As Harmony and I walked through the sliding glass doors of the hotel for future famous, we were met by a smug-looking River, with a tall, tan, handsome boy with dark brown hair and light brown eyes. I stopped in my tracks, and stared blankly at the boy who hugged and comforted me after Casey died; the same boy who kissed each of the scars on my wrists, and stole the razor so I couldn't do it to myself again; the boy who told me he would love me forever; then the teenager, who after all those promises, broke my heart, and never truly gave it back.

My mind drifted to the last day of sophomore year, when Jason tried to kiss me. Most of me jumped at the thought of believing him; needed to believe that Jason was still the same, charming boy I once loved; the same, charming boy I _still_ loved. But, in the moment I was about to give in, to forgive Jason for breaking my heart, I remembered how awful I felt after seeing him kiss her; how difficult it was for me to avoid crying when he rushed towards me, a look of horror, not guilt, on his face as he tried to take my hand; how easy it was for _him_ to watch me run away, as he turned back to his superficial cheerleader, who waited for him smugly.

"Jason?" I whispered incredulously, and he turned his attention from the side of River's face to mine, and his eyes widened.

"Eve," he breathed a sigh of relief, "Your mom called my dad from jail; she said she was framed for your death; that you were shot, but the guy put the gun in her hand as he left. I thought you were dead!" he shook free of River's arm, and hugged me tightly. I could barely force myself to one-arm hug him: the best thing I could give anyone, as I felt the fear, anxiety, and horror, quickly rush back

"_Everyone thinks I'm dead. My mom claimed that I was murdered, when she was the one who shot me_," I thought, horrified. Running back to San Francisco wasn't even an option anymore. My old life didn't even _exist_ anymore.

When Jason finally let go, he stared into my eyes, reminding me of the boy I found myself falling in love with what seemed so long ago.

River cleared her throat, and Jason turned away, taking her hand once again.

Confusion and a dull sense of realization swept over me as I looked at the, what I assumed was, new couple.

"What happened to Logan?" I accused, looking at River.

"I guess Logan just isn't the one," she sighed dramatically, and gazed meaningfully at Jason.

He smiled right back at her, and my heart broke just a little bit more.

"_Stop it, Evangeline_," I chided myself, "_You need to move on; it's been six months now_."

My gaze wandered from Jason's light brown eyes to the dejected face staring blankly. James, Kendall, and Carlos all sat around Logan as he sat motionless, seeming to be on the verge of tears.

Jason caught my gaze and his face fell angrily.

"_So you can move on, but I can't?"_ I thought angrily, and pushed past Jason to sit next to Logan on the couch.

"Are you okay?" I asked quietly, placing my hand on his.

He shook his head sadly, and leaned lightly into my shoulder. Harmony took her place by James' side, and he wrapped his arm around her. The six of us sat like that for what seemed hours in near silence, except for the odd attempt at cracking a joke every once in a while.

"All right, no more moping around," Kendall began, and I lifted my head from Logan's shoulder, where it had been for almost an hour.

"I say we get off our mopey butts, grab our gear, and go play some hockey!" he exclaimed, and Carlos and James grinned in agreement. I looked over at Logan, whose face had transformed into a barely noticeable smile; it was a start.

"C'mon," I smiled, taking his hand, and followed after Kendall, with Carlos, James, and Harmony close behind.

The boys' driver took us to an indoor rink, where Harmony and I bought hot chocolate, and watched from the bleachers as Big Time Rush slammed each other into walls, and sprayed ice in each other's faces with their skates.

Eventually, Logan seemed to forget about River, and began to enjoy himself. I smiled; glad to see our ex's didn't have to ruin our lives.

When the boys finally finished their hockey battle, they clunked off the ice, bruised, but smiling hugely. Logan walked toward me, a thankful smile warming his dark brown eyes, and enveloped me in a sweet, warm hug.

"What was that for?" I smiled, glad to see his mind was on something besides River.

"For being there for me. I've only known you for a few days, but you spent your whole day making me feel better."

I laughed and winked, saying, "Anytime. Besides, who _wouldn't_ want to watch guys bash each other into walls."

I glanced over at Harmony, who pecked James on the cheek before walking over to me.

"Why don't you and Logan go hang out for a bit?" Harmony suggested, not-too-subtly shooing us away.

I rolled my eyes, knowing that Harmony was forcing us to leave because of the "big surprise" she wouldn't tell me about.

"Shall we?" Logan asked, holding his arm out in the gentlemanly fashion, and I placed my arm in the crook of his elbow.

"See ya later, Harmony!" I called, giggling as Logan lead me to a table so he could head to the locker room and change out of his bulky, sweaty hockey uniform.

"_See, you can have fun with another guy,_" I told myself.

"_Yeah, but also a guy who just had his heart broken_," I argued, "_Careful you don't turn into a rebound_."

I shook my head quickly, attempting to rid myself of those depressing thoughts.

A few moments later, Logan emerged from the locker room, dressed in a white, short-sleeved v-neck, tan, knee-length board shorts, and vans.

I grinned at him, and, when he gave me a dazzling smile in return, my worries faded away… for a moment.

He took my left hand: the one thing on the surface that showed how messed up my life was, and I grimaced as his eyes widened.

"Evangeline, your hand is so cold," he said, alarmed, "Are you all right?"

I shook my head, and attempted to pull my hand away, but held it tighter.

"Angie, you can trust me. I'm not going to go run off and tell the world you secrets."

I looked at him, surprise; partly because I'd never been called Angie before, but I _really _liked it, and partly because I expected to see curiosity, not genuine concern in his eyes.

"Okay," I sighed, "But it isn't a very happy story," and I began my messed up life story, as we walked out of the ice rink, searching for a quieter place.

**Hey guys! Sorry I haven't been uploading very much lately, my computer's been having SERIOUS issues with fanfiction :D I'm 5 chapters in and I've only had one review, so I'd REALLY appreciate more comments! Thank you all so much for reading my fanfiction, and I'll update as soon as I can!**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

It wasn't until we found a nearby park, and sat under a shaded tree, that I started talking. After feeling paranoid about the sideways glances, and black suits I associated with Hawk's minions, I decided to wait to tell my story until I was positive no one else could hear us.

"When I was really little, my dad left. My mom was upset, so she started drinking, but she never drank when my brother and I were there. On my 5th birthday, when my brother, Casey, was sixteen, he took me to a river near our house, because he knew how much I loved the water. But then it started to rain, and we were on a really old bridge. I almost fell in, but he- he pulled me away. The next thing I knew, he was falling into the river… the police didn't find him until three days later." I broke off for a moment to wipe my eyes and clear my throat. Logan pulled me against him comfortingly, and I continued.

"My mom always blamed me for the accident; she said I should have died instead of Casey; I know she's right, but I couldn't bring myself to believe it at first. She started drinking in front of me not long after Casey died. It kept getting worse and worse, but I had a friend, Jason, who was with me the whole time, along with Harmony. I started cutting, at one point, and Jason helped me stop once we started dating. Then, about three months ago, Jason cheated on me, and Harmony became my only friend. As for my arm, it was last month, on the last day of school. I was going to move in with Harmony, because my mom-" I paused, feeling the scar on my temple from the glass of my mom's beer bottle. The tears began to spill down my cheeks, and Logan held me closer to him; I could feel his appalled gaze on my face, but I continued anyway, choking back the tears.

"She, uh, she started both physically and emotionally abusing me, so I had to get out of there. But when I went to the house to grab my suitcase, she was there, and she didn't want me to leave. She kicked me so I couldn't get up, and then she went outside; I heard yelling, and Harmony was out there, so I ran in front of her-" I shut my eyes and heard the loud "BANG" and jumped.

"Then there was a loud bang, and the next thing I knew, I woke up in the hospital with three broken ribs, and an arm I'd never be able to use again. And then when Jason came today, he told me that everyone thinks I'm dead; everyone thinks that my mom was 'framed' for my murder: I have no home to go back to now." I finished and sighed, wishing the tears would stop flowing.

"Of all places in the world, why did you come to Hollywood?" he asked quietly, still holding on to me tightly, seeming to be afraid I would fall to pieces right in front of him.

My breath caught as I pondered telling Logan the whole truth, but I shot the thought down after thinking of Harmony. Hawk would find out, and then it'd be over: forever.

"Well, I've been singing my whole life, and I needed to get away from San Francisco, so I figured Hollywood was the best place to go," I lied quickly, hating how easily he bought it.

Absent-mindedly, I traced the thin scars criss-crossing on my wrist, until Logan gently laced his fingers through mine.

"Angie, I'm _so_ sorry that you had to go through all that, but you can't blame yourself for what happened to your brother. I don't believe for one second that it's your fault; he was just doing what older brothers are supposed to do: protect their little sisters," he told me, reminding me of what Casey said in my dream in the hospital.

"Why do you think of me so highly?" I whispered, still nearly sobbing at how much I hated myself.

""How can I _not_?" he answered and I grimaced, "You're beautiful, kind, and you always seem to put others in front of yourself."

I started sobbing, then, wishing I could tell him how wrong he was; how I _wasn't_ kind, and how I was putting _myself_ before _him_.

He wrapped his arms around my waist, and I wanted so badly to pull away, to save him from future heartbreak. But I knew I couldn't let him know anything else was wrong.

Eventually, I stopped crying enough to start a conversation that I would regret for the rest of my life.

"Can we talk about something else?" I nearly begged, and he breathed a sigh of relief.

"What do you want to talk about?" he asked.

"You. I mean, you, and your band," I stammered, and he laughed.

"What do you want to know?" he smiled, and I bit my lip.

"_Don't ask, don't ask, _don't ask_,_" I pleaded silently with myself, but my lips moved anyway.

"What have you guys been working on lately?" I asked, and mentally stabbed myself.

"Well, we're currently in the middle of writing a song, but Gustavo doesn't think we can. Originally, James and I wrote the 'Yeah' song, and Carlos and Kendall wrote the 'Oh' song, but we realized a couple days ago that we could put the two songs together," he said, laughing quietly at their foolishness.

"Cool," I replied, wishing I would stop there, but continued asking questions, "Can I hear it?"

"Sure, why not?" he laughed, "I could use some practice in front of a live audience."

I laughed lightly, trying to cover up my self-loathing, and he started singing.

_Oh, yeah_

_(Oh, yeah, oh, yeah)_

_Oh, yeah_

_(Oh, yeah, oh, yeah)_

_So tell me who am I supposed to be?_

_What I gotta do to get you close to me?_

_If I run away tonight will you follow me?_

_C'mon, c'mon, c'mon_

_(Oh, yeah)_

_I see you standing there all alone_

_Knowing you've been wanting me to say hello_

'_Cause when the lights go flashing everybody tonight _

_It's on, it's on, it's on_

_Say anything you want, I turn the music on_

'_Cause, baby, we ain't going nowhere_

_I'll leave it all behind to be with you tonight_

_And everybody's screaming, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah_

_(Oh, yeah, oh, yeah)_

_Screaming, oh, yeah_

_(Oh, yeah, oh, yeah)_

_Screaming, oh, yeah_

_(Oh, yeah, oh, yeah)_

_Screaming, oh, yeah, yeah_

_And now it's time I gotta make a move_

_We could be together if you only knew_

'_Cause life's too short and we got nothing to lose_

_C'mon, c'mon, c'mon_

_(Oh, yeah)_

_I can't seem to get you out of my mind_

_And I ain't gonna stop until I make you mine_

_I just gotta make it to you by the end of the night_

_Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh_

_Say anything you want, I turn the music on_

'_Cause, baby, we ain't going nowhere_

_I'll leave it all behind to be with you tonight_

_And everybody's screaming, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah_

_(Oh, yeah, oh, yeah)_

_Screaming, oh, yeah_

_(Oh, yeah, oh, yeah)_

_Screaming, oh, yeah_

_(Oh, yeah, oh, yeah)_

_Screaming, oh, yeah, yeah_

_I know that night is ending_

_And time just keeps on running out_

_I gotta find my way to you_

_Oh, yeah_

_Say anything you want, I turn the music on_

'_Cause, baby, we ain't going nowhere_

_I'll leave it all behind to be with you tonight_

_And everybody's screaming, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah_

_(Oh, yeah, oh, yeah)_

_Screaming, oh, yeah_

_(Oh, yeah, oh, yeah)_

_Screaming, oh, yeah_

_(Oh, yeah, oh, yeah)_

_Screaming, oh, yeah_

_(Oh, yeah, oh, yeah)_

_Oh, yeah_

_(Oh yeah, oh, yeah)_

_(Oh, yeah, oh, yeah)_

_C'mon_

_(Oh, yeah, oh, yeah)_

_I wanna here you say_

_(Oh, yeah, oh, yeah)_

"Wow," I breathed.

"Is that a good or a bad thing?" he asked anxiously, and I laughed.

"It's a good thing: a _very_ good thing. You sing _amazingly_," I complimented, literally falling in love with his voice.

"Well, then, thank you," he replied, and I grimaced mentally.

"_You won't be thanking me for long_," I thought acidly, wanting to slap myself.

"Have you guys shown it to Gustavo yet?" I asked.

"Nope," he replied, "We're gonna take it to him next Wednesday."

"_Why does he have to make this so easy?_" I demanded, "_Just make it hard for me, and I won't be able to hurt you_."

"So you get the fourth of July weekend off?" I asked.

He nodded, "Yeah, it's one of the first long weekends we've had off."

"Gustavo must work you guys really hard," I noted, noticing the bitter tone he used.

"Yeah, but it's worth it. The guys and I have _so _much fun when we perform," he smiled, and I nodded in agreement.

He paused for a minute, and I guessed he had a serious topic on his mind.

"Are you okay?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah, I'm just thinking," he replied.

"What about?" I asked, leaning my head against his chest so I could look up at his face.

"You," he replied simply, and I cocked my head to the side, my eyebrows scrunching up.

"Anything in particular?"

"Well, when you were talking about what your mom did to you," he gritted his teeth, "Why didn't you run away before?"

"I was just scared, I guess," I mumbled, "I was afraid of what she might do if I left; afraid I'd feel guilty if she hurt anyone because of me. But then, after a few months, I realized if I didn't get out of there, she- she would've…" I trailed off, biting my lip, and tracing the scar on my temple once again.

"If you were so afraid of what she'd do, why did you never call the police?" he whispered.

"If I called the police, I'd get put into a foster home, and I'd never see Harmony again," I stated simply, "I'd rather put up with my mom than lose the only friend I have."

He sighed sadly; then said, "I wish you would've come to L.A. sooner."

I laughed, and asked, "Why?"

"Because none of this would have happened to you, and, well, I would have probably known you longer, too."

I didn't know how to respond to that; didn't know what he meant, or if he even meant anything when he said he wanted to know me longer. I hated how confused guys seemed to make you; why couldn't they just say exactly what's on their mind, instead of answering vaguely, so you have to guess what they're thinking?

"Sorry," I mumbled, and he laughed, amazed.

"After all those things that happened to you, you're _apologizing_?" he asked incredulously.

"_You have _no_ idea_," I thought, but instead said, "Yeah, I guess I am."

We sat under that tree for a while, talking about random things, ranging from our favorite bands (both of us answered Big Time Rush), to places we wanted to travel to (we both said Paris).

When the sun finally began to set, we walked back to the Palm Woods Hotel, and Logan walked me to my door, hugging me tightly before I opened the door to walk inside.

"Angie, wait," he stopped me, taking my hand.

"Yeah?" I asked, facing him.

"Thank you for being there for me today; I don't know what I would have done without you," he admitted, and I smiled, but realized mentally that he would have been saved from even more heartbreak.

"It's no problem. Thanks for listening to my sob story," I apologized, and his eyes warmed.

"Anytime," he replied, "Good night, Angie."

"Hey, wait up a sec'," I called, and he turned around.

"What's up?" he asked.

"I was wondering this earlier today, but I sorta forgot about it; why do you call me Angie?"

He blushed, embarrassed, and asked anxiously, "I'm sorry, do you want me to call you Evangeline?"

"No, I like Angie. I've just never been called that before," I smiled, and he grinned back.

"Well then, _Angie_," he put emphasis on my name, and I laughed, "I'll just keep calling you that."

"Okay," I agreed, and smiled, "Good night."

"'Night," he answered, and walked into his suite.

"_What have I gotten myself into_?" I asked myself mentally, and walked into our suite.

**Hey guys! I know I don't have that many chapters up yet, but I'd really appreciate it if you review! (I tend to get more ideas when people do ;)) so please, after u read, let me know what you think! Thank you!**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

It wasn't until 9 o'clock that night that Harmony came back to the hotel. I was sitting on the large, cream-colored couch, watching "Wipeout", while Mrs. Bloemer busied herself in the kitchen, when Harmony rushed in through the door.

"Where have you been?" Mrs. Bloemer asked curiously, not in the slightest bit worried.

"I was hanging out with the guys," she answered quickly, walking into the kitchen.

I rolled my eyes, and shook my head, smiling, although I was extremely- annoyed wasn't the word, but I couldn't really explain it- with this secret. Sitting in the living room, I heard soft, excited murmurs from the kitchen, and tried to tune them out with the hilarious comments by the two John's.

Almost half an hour later, Harmony walked out of the kitchen, a secretive grin on her face.

"Am I ever going to find out what this huge secret is?" I demanded, and she smiled, winking. I rolled my eyes and followed her into the bedroom we shared.

Methodically, I changed into my PJ's, putting my right arm through the sleeve, then maneuvering my left arm through the fabric with the help of my right.

"So what did you and Logan do all day?" Harmony asked, smiling, as we climbed into our adjoining beds.

I paled a bit, reminded that I should hate myself, and replied quietly, "I told him everything; well, not about Hawk, but about Casey, and my mom, and Jason. And then he sang me a song that Big Time Rush are using, but haven't told Gustavo about it yet."

"You don't mean- oh Gosh, that's what we have to give Hawk, isn't it?" Harmony asked, horrified.

"Yes… no… I don't know," I rambled confusedly, "I don't know if I can do this, Harmony! I mean, Logan's so sweet, and he's getting over a breakup; I'd ruin his life if I ruined his band too! But you're my best friend, and I can't risk what Hawk would do if we don't!" I cried softly, not wanting Mrs. Bloemer to hear our conversation.

"Maybe we don't, then," she mumbled quietly.

"What?" I screeched, and blushed, lowering my voice, "What are you talking about?"

"You know that coming here with Hawk was a mistake, but coming to Hollywood, and meeting Big Time Rush wasn't. Maybe we were _supposed_ to come here, but for a different reason; maybe we're supposed to _protect _Big Time Rush from Hawk," she whispered.

"But Harmony, you know what he'll do if we don't give him what he wants," I said dejectedly, and she nodded.

"I know, Lina, but this isn't worth it anymore. I like James too much, and you like Logan too much; we have to protect them," she replied determinedly.

I smiled and nodded in agreement; if Harmony was going to protect them, there was no use in obeying Hawk; I was only going to do it to protect her.

We talked for a bit after that; I told her about how I was _completely_ falling for Logan, while she gushed about how she was _completely_ falling for James; just another one of the hundreds of things we did together. It wasn't until that neither one of us could keep our eyes open any longer that we fell asleep, and I dreamt peacefully about Logan: his warm eyes, sweet smile, and amazing voice.

The next morning, I woke up extremely early: about 5 o'clock, wanting to sing. Creeping out of my bed, I put on my slippers and walked out the door, still dressed in my "I 3 Paris" pajamas. From the first day at the Palmwoods, I knew where the piano was; the instrument wasn't just a pretty piece of wood to me, it was a part of who I was. It was impossible for me to not know where the piano was in any place I went to. I knew it was hopeless and soon to be a disappointment when I slid onto the smooth bench, but I couldn't help myself. Slowly, hesitantly, I lifted my left hand with my right, and placed my cold fingers on the keys, nearly sobbing when my suspicions were confirmed: I couldn't feel the ivory surface; didn't have that overwhelming sense of calm I used to get just by touching the keys. Instead, there was nothing but grief.

"Pull yourself together," I muttered, annoyed, to myself. There was nothing I could do about my arm anymore, so there was no use crying over it; I could still sing; I still _would_ sing.

Settling on playing the few complicated chords I knew how to play on my right hand, I began to sing softly, the melody of my new song dancing through the air.

_You brushed my hair out of my face,_

_And you bent down for a kiss,_

_You'd say I was the most beautiful girl in the world,_

_But did you really mean it?_

_Now I don't need you to say I'm pretty,_

_Or make me laugh when I fail,_

_With every tear that falls, it hurts even more,_

_So I'm letting go of you_

_I don't need you to hold my hand_

_Every step of the way_

_With every smile you flashed at me_

_I sunk even more_

_But I'm gonna float back to the surface_

_Don't need your anchor weighing me down_

As I sang those lines, a single memory of Jason and I floated through my mind. I remembered Jason as a child: his dimpled cheeks and sparkling light brown eyes smiling at me in elementary school when I cried the first day back after my brother's death.

_Now I don't need you to say I'm pretty,_

_Or make me laugh when I fail,_

_With every tear that falls, it hurts even more,_

_So I'm letting go of you_

_I'm gonna find that guy_

_Who will whisper softly in my ear_

_Je pense que je t'aime_

_Who will chase me through the airport_

_Before I get on that plane_

_I don't need you to say I'm pretty _

_Or make me laugh when I fail_

_The tears are slowing, I'm leaving you behind_

_I've let go of you_

I didn't realize I was crying until a warm hand wiped a tear away from my cheek.

"That was about Jason, wasn't it?" Logan asked quietly, taking my thin, delicate hand into his.

I nodded slowly, and leaned into his shoulder, breathing deep, calming breaths as I relaxed into his side.

"Do you still love him?" he asked softly, resting his cheek on my head.

"I don't know," I admitted honestly, a tear slipping down to my chin.

He nodded in understanding, and brushed my cheek sadly.

"Do you still love River?" I reversed the question, and his breath caught for a moment.

"I don't know," he answered also, sighing heavily.

This whole situation was messy; I was turning into Logan's rebound, while he slowly turned into mine. I wondered dejectedly if what I was beginning to feel for him was just my way of getting over Jason, and if I was his way of getting over River.

"You have an amazing voice," he whispered quietly, as if simply stating a fact.

I blushed and nodded in thanks, at a loss for words.

"I need to take you somewhere," he whispered, subtle excitement in his tone. He took my hand and guided me, still dressed in my pajamas, out the door, and into the rising sun.

"Where are we going?" I laughed, as he guided me into Big Time Rush's car, and we sped throughout L.A.

He simply stayed quiet, a small smile tugging at his lips, until we pulled in front of our destination: Rocque Records.

My heart stopped for a moment, until I realized I wasn't going to be working for Hawk anymore, so what could it hurt?

"You can't be serious," I laughed, and he shrugged, leading me into the past-band decorated hallway that ended at Gustavo's office.

"Gustavo, I, well, Evangeline, have something to show you," he announced, keeping my shaky hand clasped firmly in his.

"And what is that?" he asked groggily, sitting behind his desk with sunglasses that covered his most likely puffy eyes.

"You have to hear her sing," Logan demanded, and Gustavo raised his brow.

"Just one chance," he begged and Gustavo rolled his eyes and gave in, letting us into the recording booth.

**Hey guys! Sorry I haven't been uploading as much lately; I've been working on tying up some loose ends on the book I'm writing, and working on getting published with my best friend, Sabrina. All comments, reviews, and tips are appreciated!**

**I do not own Big Time Rush, or any of their songs; the first song in this book is one I wrote, the second non-Big Time Rush song was written by Sabrina **


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"No, no, no, Logan, I can't do this," I pleaded as he dragged me into the booth. A few moments before, I was fine, but then I realized I'd be singing in front of actual people.

"Angie, look at me," he said, putting his hands on my shoulders, "You can do this, I've got your back."

I bounced nervously in indecision before nodding my head reluctantly. Logan smiled brightly, and moved to sit down on the couch, but I gripped his hand tightly, not letting him leave.

"Come with me," I practically begged, and he complied willingly, sitting quietly with his hand clasped firmly around mine as I stood in front of the microphone.

I looked fearfully at Logan, but his warm smile and reassuring expression gave me the courage to start singing.

_You brushed my hair out of my face,_

_And you bent down for a kiss,_

_You'd say I was the most beautiful girl in the world,_

_But did you really mean it?_

_Now I don't need you to say I'm pretty,_

_Or make me laugh when I fail,_

_With every tear that falls, it hurts even more,_

_So I'm letting go of you_

_I don't need you to hold my hand_

_Every step of the way_

_With every smile you flashed at me_

_I sunk even more_

_But I'm gonna float back to the surface_

_Don't need your anchor weighing me down_

_Now I don't need you to say I'm pretty,_

_Or make me laugh when I fail,_

_With every tear that falls, it hurts even more,_

_So I'm letting go of you_

_I'm gonna find that guy_

_Who will whisper softly in my ear_

_Je pense que je t'aime_

_Who will chase me through the airport_

_Before I get on that plane_

_I don't need you to say I'm pretty _

_Or make me laugh when I fail_

_The tears are slowing, I'm leaving you behind_

_I've let go of you_

I stood silently for a few moments, waiting for someone to end my agonizing anxiety.

After a few more moments of dead quiet, I asked Gustavo, terrified, "So what did you think?"

"Eh, it wasn't the best I've ever seen," he shrugged indifferently, crossing his arms, and my heart dropped in disappointment.

"Oh, well, thanks for your time, then," I mumbled pitifully, and began to walk out the door, but both Logan and Gustavo stopped me by yelling, "Wait!"

I turned around slowly, as Logan rushed up to me, gripping my hand so I couldn't leave.

"Look, I don't need your pity, all right?" I told them sternly, "If I wasn't good, I wasn't good."

"Okay, you weren't good," Gustavo stated simply, and I nodded, biting my lip.

"Well then, as I said before, thanks for your time, and I'll be going now," I said dully, fighting back tears I didn't deserve to shed.

"Angie, wait," Logan said, still not allowing me to escape from this embarrassment, "You didn't let him finish."

I bit my lip and faced Gustavo, crossing my arms in anticipation.

Logan shot him a quick glare, and he sighed, speaking in a childish, defeated tone, "You weren't good, you were amazing."

"Huh?" I asked intelligently, extremely confused.

"Gustavo's just trying to make sure you're not one of those over-confident-Hollywood-divas," Logan explained, smirking.

"Um, okay?" I raised my eyebrow, still a bit lost, "So did I pass?"

Gustavo crossed his arms and bent his head, as if embarrassed, and he murmured, "Yeah."

I turned to Logan, a look of shock and excitement on my face. He smiled warmly, and said, "Of course you did."

I blushed slightly as Gustavo cleared his throat, irritated.

"So, Evangeline," Gustavo began, putting on a business-like expression, "How would you like to sign with Rocque Records?"

I stood silently in shock for a few moments, deciding whether or not this was real, before nodding my head rapidly.

"Wait, I have to talk to Harmony first!" I realized, and Gustavo raised his eyebrow.

"Harmony?" Gustavo asked.

"Yeah, Harmony Bloemer," I told him, "she's an awesome guitarist, and I'll only sign if she agrees and signs too."

He rolled his eyes and muttered "_singers_."

I smiled, knowing that was an "all right", and I looked over at Logan, smiling brightly.

He winked and I blushed harder, wishing there was a way to hide the color rushing to my face.

"I'll give you a day," Gustavo told me seriously, crossing his arms, "The great Gustavo Rocque doesn't like to be kept waiting."

I nodded in agreement, biting my lip, this time to keep from laughing instead of crying.

After a few moments of Gustavo and Logan standing quietly while I rocked back and forth on my heels, I asked, "So I'll come back tomorrow?"

Gustavo nodded and I smiled gratefully, glancing at Logan shyly, aware of the way he was looking at me. It was the same way Jason used to look at me- a year seemed like so long ago, because when he used to say, "I love you" and I would reply, "I know," it felt exactly the same as when we were five, and he claimed he was going to marry me one day. With a shock, I realized I was thinking of Jason without the dull ache in my chest I always had from missing him. The only guy I could think of wanting stood right next to me, smiling warmly with sparkling brown eyes.

"_Horrible timing_," I scolded myself. The thought hadn't occurred to me until just then, but I would hurt Logan in one way or another. Either I stopped myself now from getting too close to him, which would hurt Logan by making him think I led him on, or I let myself love him; the latter was even more cruel. Harmony and I had accepted whatever consequences would result from turning on Hawk, which meant our time in Hollywood would be limited; we would have to leave at some point soon, or risk… I didn't want to think about that.

"_Why must I make everything so difficult_?" I thought bitterly but shook away the doomful thoughts as Logan took my hand with a dazzling smile and led me out of the studio onto the waking Hollywood Boulevard.

"Aren't you afraid someone will recognize you?" I asked nervously as the sidwalk grew more crowded.

"Nah," he said, shrugging; that is until a mob of screaming teenagers screeched, "LOGAN!"

He turned to me apologetically before we took off running full speed.

I'm fairly tall for my age: almost 5'6", but my fairly long legs were much slower than Logan's long, muscular, hockey-player legs. By the time we lost the mob and turned into a short alley, I bent over, panting for breath, while Logan stood relaxed, barely breaking a sweat.

"You… are really… _fast_," I gasped, getting my heart rate back to normal.

He shrugged and I rolled my eyes, punching him in the shoulder playfully. He clutched his arm tightly, doubling over in "pain."

"Wrong arm, stupid," I laughed, and he grinned.

"Do you think they're gone?" he asked, and I peeked around the corner: no screaming teens in sight.

"I think the coast is clear," I told him, and he smiled in relief, taking my hand gently before cautiously walking out of the alley.

We made it back to the hotel about an hour later, taking a few detours in little shops lining the streets so we weren't noticed by BTR fans.

"Make yourself at home," I whispered as we walked through the door, "I'm just going to take a shower."

"Thanks," he replied just as quietly, plopping down on the couch tiredly.

I smiled, creeping noiselessly into the bedroom, and was met by a terrified, yet furious Harmony.

"Where have you been?" she screeched, and I put my finger to my lips, shutting the door behind me.

"What, is Logan here or something?" she demanded, and I smirked.

"Psychicness much?" I whispered sarcastically.

For a moment, she forgot her anger and replied, "You know it!"

I rolled my eyes, but the playful moment disappeared when she remembered she was supposed to be angry with me.

"Where were you?" she demanded again, quieter this time.

"Well, I woke up really early so I went to this room with a piano, and then I started singing the song I wrote a while ago. Then, Logan came and took me to Rocque Records, and now Gustavo wants to sign us," I ended and gasped after rambling that all in one breath.

"Lina," she groaned, falling onto the bed, "You know we can't stay in Hollywood for much longer."

"I know," I mumbled, "But there has to be another way. Maybe we can talk to Gustavo and he can figure out a way to help us?"

She shook her and replied, "There's nothing we can do, Lina. Hawk is always ten steps ahead of us; the only thing we _can _do is leave as quickly as we can before he finds out."

"How are we gonna tell the guys?" I asked, depressed, and her face dropped.

"We can't; the best thing for us to do is to pretend like everything's fine, and then leave with some excuse… maybe a family emergency or something."

I nodded dejectedly and sat down on the floor, overwhelmed by how quickly all of this was going to end. I should have been afraid for myself, right? But I couldn't; I couldn't stop thinking about Logan's face when I tell him I'm leaving; when I tell him I'm never going to see him again. Only ever thinking about Logan. Is this how it's going to be when we leave? This constant depression of losing him, and never able to stop thinking about what would've happened if I hadn't?

"Lina!" Harmony whispered sharply, breaking me out of my snowball of depressing thoughts.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"I said I was going to go meet up with James at the movies; do you and Logan want to come?" she repeated, and I shook my head slowly.

"Nah, something tells me Logan won't last much longer," I smirked, figuring he was going to fall asleep soon, if he wasn't already.

"Okay," she grinned, and left the bedroom quietly, tiptoeing to the front door. She waved quickly before leaving, and I sat on the floor for a few more minutes before slipping out of my clothes and into the shower.

The hot water helped ease the stress a bit, so when I got out, I was able to pretend my red eyes were from exhaustion. I changed quickly, feeling a growing need to be with Logan as much as possible, and walked quietly into the living room. Not surprisingly, Logan was asleep on the couch, his head lying on the armrest as his legs splayed out, taking up most of the couch. I smiled and sat down on the floor in front of the couch, resting my head gently on Logan's arm so he wouldn't wake up. Quietly, voices drifted in the room from the TV, and my eyes slid closed; I was relaxed by being close to him, and fell asleep almost instantly, wanting to feel at ease and have some peace of mind for a while. At least, that was what I hoped would happen.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"I warned you, Evangeline," a voice whispered from the darkness.

"Hawk," I breathed, terrified. I stepped forward carefully, having no idea what to expect in my pitch-black surroundings.

"Angie?" a quiet, broken-sounding voice asked, and my stomach caught in my throat.

"Logan?" I called, my voice cracking. I ran towards his voice, feeling like I couldn't run fast enough.

Suddenly, a blinding light flashed on- and then I saw him.

"Logan!" I screamed, and rushed to the side of the wooden chair he was bound to.

"Logan, Logan, wake up, please!" I cried, carefully smoothing the bloody hair out of his face and stroking his bruised cheeks. He moaned and I moved to his wrists, untying the tight knots with shaking fingers.

"Oh, Logan, I'm so sorry," I whispered, finally getting the knots untied as he collapsed onto my lap.

"Angie," he groaned, and I kissed his forehead softly, tears of guilt flowing down my cheeks.

"Come on," I murmured urgently, wrapping his arm around my shoulder so I could help him get to his feet, "We have to go- now."

"Not so fast," Hawk whispered, another bright light flashing, revealing a cruelly smiling African-American man in dark sunglasses.

"Let him go, Hawk," I hissed, putting myself in between Logan and him.

"We had a deal," he replied calmly, but his lips were taut.

"Yes, but our deal was between you and me, not Logan," I glared, and Logan stepped forward, his eyes questioning.

"Angie, what's he talking about?" he asked weakly, still leaning on my shoulder heavily.

"Don't worry about it," I pleaded quietly, "I don't want you to get hurt."

"What are you-" he began, but Hawk cut him off.

"So noble of you, Evangeline," Hawk applauded, "Unfortunately it won't do you any good," and then there was a bang, followed by Logan crumpling to the ground.

It seemed the world turned into slow motion as I fell to my knees beside Logan, and Hawk disappeared into the darkness.

"Logan!" I screamed, taking his face into my hands.

His eyes were still open, but he looked around blankly, as if blind.

"I'm here," I crooned, softly crying.

He focused on me briefly, touching my cheek gently before his hand dropped with a thud and his body went limp.

That was when I woke up screaming.

"No!" I shrieked, desperately trying to free myself from the arms restraining my shoulders.

"Let go!" I screamed repeatedly, trying to shake him off.

"Angie, _Angie_, it's me," Logan murmured soothingly, holding on to me tightly.

"Logan?" I breathed, astonished, and stopped struggling.

I felt him nod, and I relaxed, leaning against his chest as I panted quietly.

"It was just a dream," he whispered, rubbing my arms up and down.

I nodded tiredly and we sat still for a while, just listening to each other's breathing.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked quietly, heart breakingly innocent and concerned.

Instead of answering I turned around and buried my face in his chest, wrapping my arm around him as my useless left arm hung limply at my side.

He rested his chin on my head, staying silent in understanding.

I let go after a few moments, wiping my eyes quickly before looking at him.

"Sorry," I mumbled quietly, embarrassed.

"Sh, it's okay," he replied soothingly, "You have nothing to apologize for."

I paused for a moment before asking, "Didn't I punch you?"

He laughed and said, "No; no, I think that was the table."

I looked down at my hand and noticed large red marks on my knuckles that throbbed even without touching them.

"Oh," I responded stupidly, "So that's why it hurt so much." I laughed until my giggles turned into sobs and I started crying.

"Sh, sh, Angie it's okay; it's okay," he soothed gently, stroking my hair while he rested his chin on my head. I curled up next to him and cried softly, knowing it would be a thousand times worse when I left him. After a few minutes, I pulled myself together and stood up while Logan stayed cautiously at my side.

"Sorry about that," I mumbled embarrassedly.

"You don't have to apologize," he responded sweetly, wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

"Thanks," I responded, smiling, "So what do you want to do now?"

"I don't know, why don't you decide? I've already dragged you through Gustavo's torture," he smiled with twinkling brown eyes.

"That's true," I acknowledged, returning his smile, "How about we go to the park or something? I'm sick of this room."

"That sounds like a great idea," he agreed, beaming. He took my hand and we walked to the park, enjoying the warm, summer air. I realized I had been asleep longer than I thought because the sun was just beginning to set, making the trees glow with a soft, golden light.

"Wow," I breathed, stopping to take in the beautiful sunset.

"What is it?" Logan asked, looking at my face curiously.

I gestured to the sky and said, "We never had sunsets like that in San Francisco."

"It is pretty," he agreed, "But this is nothing compared to the ones we had in Minnesota. I have to show you one sometime."

I nodded, a sad smile on my lips because I knew it would never happen; the odds of me making it through the summer were… less than likely.

"Angie, is something wrong?" he asked gently, brushing my cheek.

I caught his hand with mine and traced his fingertips, carefully avoiding his gaze.

"We shouldn't be doing this, should we?" I murmured, continuing to run my fingertip along his hand.

"Doing what?" he asked, confused.

"This," I responded quietly and looked up at him, answering his question by brushing his cheek.

"Oh," he responded just as quietly, his voice shaking slightly, "Probably not."

"Then why are we?" I whispered, returning his gaze.

"Because I like you," he answered without hesitation. I sighed, knowing what I was about to do would hurt myself just as much as it'd hurt Logan, but I had to do it. Logan deserved better.

"So if I told you Jason and River were over there kissing, you wouldn't be bothered?" I asked quietly, staring into his warm brown eyes.

"No," he responded firmly, his jaw clenching. I gestured across the grass to a bench were Jason and River sat kissing, and I heard it: the small, hurt intake of breath that told me he still wasn't over River.

"Exactly," I murmured, "I won't be your rebound, Logan, and it wouldn't be fair to you if I made you mine. I'm sorry." I walked away quickly, hating myself intensely for what I just did, but it was easier this way. I couldn't let Logan get close to me; he'd just get hurt in the end.

When I got back to the apartment, James and Harmony were sitting on the couch, James' arm around Harmony's shoulders as they watched TV. I put on a smile and plopped onto the couch next to Harmony.

"Hey, Evangeline," James smiled and I blinked, starting to laugh.

"What?" he asked curiously.

"Nothing, I'm just not used to being called Evangeline anymore," I laughed again and Harmony joined in. He gave us a strange look as if we were crazy (which we probably were) but he smirked and laughed along.

"So where's Logan?" Harmony asked when we stopped laughing. My smile faded instantly and she gave me a strange, questioning look.

"What happened?" she asked concernedly.

"I, uh, broke it off," I admitted quietly, tears stinging the corners of my eyes.

"What?" James and Harmony chorused.

"Why?" Harmony asked gently.

"It wasn't fair to go after him if he still has feelings for River," I told them, but one look from Harmony told me she didn't buy it.

"He really likes you, uh-" he trailed off, not daring to call me Evangeline again.

I laughed and suggested, "You can call me Angie."

"Okay, then he really likes you, _Angie_," he told me again and I bit my lip, not knowing what to say.

"Thanks, James, but he still really likes River, too," I murmured.

"I don't think so," he countered, "You haven't heard the way he talks about you."

Suddenly, Kendall and Carlos burst through the door and dove onto the couch, tackling Harmony and me. I screeched and Harmony laughed, both of us gasping for air.

"James, help!" she yelped, laughing hysterically. He did a sort of battle cry before tackling Kendall and Carlos from the side, pinning them to the ground in a matter of seconds.

"We'll talk about Logan later, all right?" she whispered to me once we were safely on the couch. I nodded in agreement, giggling at the sparkling grin James gave Harmony and at her blush in return.

A few moments later there was a knock at the door and Harmony got up to answer it.

"Oh, hey Logan," she greeted him, and my eyes widened, "Come on in."

He walked in slowly, a pained look in his eyes when he met my gaze, and sat down on the opposite end of the couch, near the guys' wrestling area. After a few minutes, James, Carlos, and Kendall settled down and joined us on the couch. James wrapped his arm around Harmony's shoulders and she relaxed into his side, while Carlos plopped in between Logan and I, and Kendall sat on the right of Logan.

"Anyone up for a movie?" James asked, and Kendall and Carlos cheered in excitement while Logan and I murmured agreement. He walked to the TV and put in "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" and took his spot next to Harmony again. I glanced over at Logan and saw him looking sadly over at me.

"I'm sorry," he mouthed behind Carlos, who was leaning forward, intently watching robot cars tear each other apart. I nodded in acknowledgment, but wanted to give him so much more. I wanted to tell him that I was sorry for putting him through all of this: for meeting me. Turning back to the TV, I bit my lip, feeling the dent in my skin from constantly preventing myself from crying.

Harmony glanced over at me, mouthing, "Are you okay?"

I shook my head slightly, absent-mindedly tracing the white lines on my wrist with my fingertips. As much as I loved Shia LaBeouf, I couldn't stand to be in that room anymore; couldn't let myself endanger Logan by going back to him. Standing up quickly, I stole into Harmony's and my room, sitting on the edge of the bed on the verge of tears. Hysteria was beginning to take over, and I needed to distract myself; I needed a different kind of pain. Reaching under the bed with shaking fingers, I took out the shoebox I hid when we first got to the hotel. Lifting the lid carefully, I took out the small blade and rolled up the hem of my shirt, pressing the icy cold metal to the skin on my side.

"_Do it, Angie_," I thought to myself, "_You deserve the pain_." I tensed my arm and winced as the blade penetrated my skin, making beads of blood dribble down my side.

Suddenly the door opened and Logan stepped inside, asking, "Angie are you-". He stopped when he saw what I was doing and stared at me with wide eyes. I was frozen, horrified that he had to see me like this, but too broken and afraid to move. I was afraid of what he'd say, but most of all, I was afraid of myself. That was the first time I had cut and felt happy that I was causing myself pain. Before, it was just trying to feel _something_ so I could get past the overwhelming numbness after losing Casey. This time was different; it was darker, scarier, and full of self-hatred. I had never been more afraid.

Slowly, Logan inched toward me, holding up his hands as if not to frighten me. I still couldn't move, my hand shaking as it gripped the blade tightly and blood ran down my bare side.

"Angie, honey, give me the knife," he murmured gently, inching closer and closer with his hand outstretched. I wanted to drop it, but the harder I tried, the tighter I gripped it.

"Angie, please," he begged, "You're hurting yourself." He was right. I felt blood dripping down my arm from where the blade dug into my palm.

After a few moments he was at my side, taking the blade from my hand and tucking it into his jeans pocket. Carefully, he shrugged his jacket off and pressed it against my side.

"Angie, you're going to have to hold this for me," he told me gently and I obeyed, pressing the jacket against my pale stomach.

"I'll be right back," he whispered soothingly and rushed to the bathroom to grab the first-aid kit.

In a few moments he came back and said, "I need you to lay down for me, Angie." I blinked slowly, unable to move due to the numbness consuming me. As if I were made of glass, he laid me down on the bed, his fingers brushing my skin gently as he bandaged my side and hand. He pulled my shirt down carefully, not wanting to move the bandages, and he sat beside me, looking at me intently as I stared at the ceiling.

Slowly, the numbness began to melt away and tears slipped down my cheeks, my silent tears quickly turning into sobs.

I shot up into a sitting position, a full-blown panic attack coming on as I ran my bandaged hand through my hair. Sobbing hysterically I put my hand on my chest, trying to calm myself with the thumping of my heart. When that didn't work, I began to shake uncontrollably, unable to breathe.

"Angie, Angie, it's okay, calm down," he murmured, trying to soothe me despite the fact I could hear him freaking out.

I tried to nod, ignoring the pain in my side as I tried to slow my breathing, leaning into Logan's open arms.

"It's okay, Angie. I won't let anything happen to you," he soothed, rubbing my back in slow circles.

"I'm s-so sorry," I sobbed quietly into is shoulder, "You sh-shouldn't have to- see me- like this. You m-must hate me, I'm so s-sorry."

"No, it's okay, Angie; I don't hate you. It's impossible for me to hate you," he told me gently.

"But I'm such a horrible person; I don't deserve you," I sniffled weakly, pushing myself away from him so he wouldn't have to put up with my whining anymore.

He paused for a moment, his mouth wide open, and asked, "Is that why you said those things at the park? You don't think _you_ deserve _me_?"

I shook my head slowly, unable to meet his gaze.

"Angie, please look at me," he whispered sadly. When I refused to budge, he touched my cheek gently with his fingertips, melting my resolve.

I met his gaze shyly, ashamed of the tears pooling in my eyes that I fought to hold back.

"Are you upset about River or is it something else? Because if it's River, I swear you have nothing to worry about. I was just caught off-guard. I like _you_ Angie- no one else."

I shook my head slightly, my lip trembling as I said, "It's not about River; it's just I'm… I can't… you deserve someone better than me."

"I don't believe that," he answered softly, brushing a stray curl behind my ear.

"Well you should because it's true," I murmured.

"No," he answered simply, scooting closer to me.

I stood up abruptly, not trusting myself so close to him.

"I'm sorry," he apologized quickly, the fear of pushing me away apparent in his expression.

"You should go," I said quietly, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Angie, I-" he began, but I stopped him.

"Please, Logan, it's easier this way. Please, just go." My lip trembled, and I came dangerously close to giving in, saying I was sorry, and begging him to stay with me. But I couldn't do that to him. So I stood quietly, biting my lip and staring at the carpet as he walked out the door. A few moments later, I heard the guys say "goodbye" to Harmony (James waiting until after they left to kiss her) and then they were gone.

I fell back onto the bed, staring absent-mindedly at the ceiling. I silently ran my fingers over the bandage on my stomach, still able to feel the warmth from Logan's comforting embrace as I fell into a nightmare-filled sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry this chapter took so long to upload guys! I've been kinda blocked lately, and this chapter was especially long :P But I hope it was worth the wait, please review **

Chapter 10

"Lina," a familiar voice called out to me.

"Lina!" the voice repeated, loudly this time.

My eyes snapped open and I saw Harmony leaning over me, her eyes grey clouds of concern.

"What is it?" I asked, sitting up.

"You were screaming," she said quietly, her lips in a tight, worried line.

"Oh," I murmured, rubbing my eyes sleepily. I thought back to the nightmare I had, hiding my shudder at the memory of Hawk standing over the bodies of everyone I knew.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Harmony asked gently.

I shook my head and swung my legs over the edge of the bed.

"So what do you want to do today?" I asked, forcing a smile onto my face.

"Holy crap it's Friday!" she shrieked, and covered her mouth with her hand.

"Okaayyy?" I scrunched my eyebrows together in confusion.

"Get your bathing suit on!" she ordered, ignoring me.

"Why?" I asked, refusing to move, "It's not like I can swim; dead arm remember?"

She glared at me and chucked a pillow at my face, saying, "Just listen and don't be stubborn for once!"

I rolled my eyes and chucked it back at her, and then I got up and took my teal bikini with black flowers on it out of the drawer.

Half an hour later, my hair fell down my back in loose curls; I was dressed in jean shorts and my teal bikini underneath a loose, gray tank top; and my face was coated in black mascara, gray eyeliner, and light pink lip gloss.

"Harmony," I sighed, smirking, "I think you went a bit overboard."

"Who cares? You look gorgeous!" she gushed and I rolled my eyes at her.

"Thanks," I laughed.

"No problem. Blind fold time!" she giggled and before I could blink, she was behind me, tying a blindfold over my eyes.

"Harmony!" I shrieked, stumbling blindly as she led me out the door.

"Help!" I screamed, "Help, I'm being kidnapped!"

A few moments later, I heard a door open and several people came running toward us.

When they figured out what was going on, they laughed, and one of the people said, "Oh, Harmony, what am I going to do with you?"

"Love me," she said in an innocent voice.

"Well obviously," the boy said, and I bent my head in defeat.

"I'm not getting help from you guys, am I?"

"Nope!" Carlos said cheerfully and I groaned.

"Harmony, you can't drag me! I'm stronger than you!" I threatened, pulling away from her.

"Hate to break it to you, Angie, but we're not letting you escape," Kendall said as someone threw me over his shoulder.

"Who is this?" I demanded, kicking my legs lightly because I didn't actually want to hurt him.

"Stop squirming! Ow!" Logan groaned, smacking my leg lightly.

"Logan?!" I shrieked, "You're in on this too?"

"Nice to see you, too," he smirked, and I slapped his shoulder.

"I can't see, dork," I replied sarcastically.

For a moment, I was able to forget last night, and it seemed like Logan was pretending it never happened.

He shook his head and sighed, continuing to carry me out of the Palm Woods. A few moments later, I was placed in a car of some sort, and Logan, Kendall, Carlos, James, and Harmony piled in after me.

"Angie?" Carlos asked shyly after the car started moving.

"Yeah?" I answered, turning my head toward the sound of his voice.

"What happened to your arm?" he asked and I froze, my breath catching in my throat.

"Carlos!" Logan, Kendall, and James chorused angrily.

"Angie, you don't have to answer if you don't want," Logan cut in quickly.

"No, it's okay," I answered slowly, "Can you take my blindfold off?"

Hesitantly, Logan untied the cloth, and I blinked a couple times to adjust to the light. Everyone was staring at me, their expressions ranging from curiosity to concern to embarrassment.

"Carlos, it's okay," I assured him, placing my hand on top of his lightly.

He smiled slightly and I sat back in my chair.

"Okay, well to save you a whole sob story, what happened is: I was living in San Francisco with my mom, but I wanted to leave. So I was going to move in with Harmony and her mom. When I was leaving my house to move in, my mom was there, and… she was drunk. She didn't want me to leave, so, long story short, she shot me. When I woke up in the hospital, I couldn't move my arm."

I looked up from my hands when I finished talking, and saw James, Kendall, and Carlos staring at me in shock. Logan placed his hand on my knee, trying to comfort me, while Harmony had a blank look on her face, avoiding my gaze.

"So she just shot you- her own daughter?" James asked, incredulous.

I began to say "It's complicated," but Harmony cut in before I could finish.

"It was my fault," she said quietly.

I stared at her with wide eyes as my mouth fell open.

"Her mom pulled the gun at me," she continued, "But Lina jumped in the way. It's my fault Lina, I'm so sorry." She buried her face in her hands and cried, so I slid over next to her and wrapped my good arm around her.

"You're my best friend, Harmony," I told her, "Of course I jumped in front of you. You can't blame yourself for my decision, okay?" In that instant, I suddenly reminded myself of Casey, and I smiled internally at the thought of what he'd say if he could see me now.

"But-" she started, but I cut her off.

"But nothing! You'd do the same for me, wouldn't you?"

She nodded, so I said, "Well all right then. There's nothing for you to feel guilty about."

Harmony sighed in frustration and muttered, "I don't like it when you're right."

"I know," I replied smugly, and she smiled, hugging me.

After a few moments, we stopped hugging and looked at the guys. They were all staring at us, a mixture of confusion, smirks, and concern on their faces.

"You're amazing, you know that, right?" James told Harmony, and she blushed, burying her face in his shoulder.

As Kendall and Carlos groaned and teased James, Logan looked at me and pointed to his hip, raising his eyebrows.

I nodded after feeling the bandage, making sure it was still firmly in place.

He nodded and then mouthed, "I'm sorry about last night."

Shaking my head, I mouthed, "You have nothing to be sorry for."

"But I-" he started, but I cut him off by shaking my head and putting my fingers to my lips in a quieting gesture.

I pointed to myself and mouthed, "My fault." I paused for a moment before adding, "I'm scared."

It was the queen of all understatements, but I had to at least give him an explanation as to why I had to reject him.

Logan gave my hand a light squeeze and nodded with understanding.

"Crap, we're going to be there soon!" I heard Harmony say, and before I knew it, the blindfold was back over my eyes.

"Harmony!" I whined, glaring at where I thought she was.

"Over here, hon," she said from the opposite direction.

"Then who blindfolded me?"

"That would be me," James responded smugly, and I glared in the direction of his voice.

A few moments later, the car stopped and Harmony squealed, "We're here!"

The door opened and someone led me out of the car, holding onto my elbow so I wouldn't trip.

Finally, someone took the blindfold off and when my eyes adjusted to the light, I saw everyone from the Palm Woods scream, "Happy Birthday!"

I covered my mouth and laughed underneath my hand.

"I'm sixteen!" I shrieked, turning around to face Harmony and the guys.

"Yeahhhh," Harmony teased, "I can't believe you never figured it out!"

I looked at the ground and bit my lip, blushing.

"Don't mock me; I know I'm stupid."

"Hardly," Logan smirked, and I looked up and stuck my tongue out at him.

"Come on, Birthday Girl, come see your party," Harmony laughed and took my hand, leading me through the crowd of teenagers.

We were at a beach, and a stage was set up that faced the ocean. Harmony led me to the front of the crowd and Big Time Rush ran onto the stage.

"Let's have a big hand for our birthday girl!" Kendall shouted into the microwave, and the crowd cheered in response.

"Happy Sweet 16, Angie," Logan smiled at me and I grinned back.

[insert "Big Night" lyrics]

"Thank you!" Kendall called to the crowd and Big Time Rush ran off the stage to meet us.

"What'd you think?" James asked, putting his arm around Harmony's shoulders.

"Eh, it was okay," she shrugged and his mouth fell open.

"Take it back!" he shouted and threw her over his shoulder, running to the water.

"Never!" she shrieked, trying to squirm out of his grasp.

"Take it back!" he repeated, now in the water.

"No!" she yelled back, laughing. Kendall, Carlos, Logan, and I ran after them, laughing.

"Last chance," James warned her, stopping waist-high in the water.

"Never!" she giggled.

"All right, you give me no choice!" he laughed, and dove into the water with her.

Logan, Carlos, and Kendall ran into the water after them, but I stopped at the water's edge.

When Logan realized I wasn't following him, he turned around, a confused look on his face.

I stared at the water with shaking hands and whispered, "I can't."

Understanding washed over his face and he walked slowly toward me.

"You can't be afraid forever, Angie," he said soothingly, holding his hand out to me.

I hesitated, pulling my hand back after almost taking his.

"Trust me," he smiled reassuringly, and I felt a sense of calm wash over me. I took his hand, and he pulled me towards him.

"You did it!" Logan grinned and spun me around by my waist.

"Yeah," I breathed and smiled.

He put me down but held me against his chest, my face just inches away from his. Logan's breathing was heavy, and I could see the conflict in his eyes.

I pulled back, and his expression fell, his hold on me loosening as he stepped away from me.

"Logan, I-" I murmured, my voice getting stuck in my throat.

"I know," he answered, forcing a smile, "It's okay."

"No-" I started, but he closed the gap between us and put his fingertips on my lips.

"This is your day," he told me sternly, "No worrying, or stressing out, or feeling guilty. Got it?"

I pursed my lips but eventually nodded, and he smirked triumphantly.

"Let's go help Harmony, then, shall we?" he asked and held out his hand. I nodded, smiling, and took his hand, feeling calm and relaxed in his warm grasp.

We trudged through the water, getting knocked over by waves several times, as the current was getting stronger because the sun was starting to set.

"Fine, fine, you were amazing!" Harmony screeched, just as we got there.

"What was that?" James smirked, prepared to dunk her again.

"You were amazing!" she yelled louder, and he put her down.

"Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" he laughed, and Harmony smacked his shoulder.

"Jerk," she teased, trying to fight past the waves to run away from him.

Of course he caught her, and spun her around so she was pressed against him.

"Beautiful," James countered, and then he bent down to kiss her.

I turned my head away, as did Logan, and we headed back to the shore.

We fell down on the sand, panting from the exertion of fighting the waves.

"I'm f-f-freezing," I shuddered, my teeth chattering.

"Do you want a towel?" he asked, concerned.

I nodded and said, "or twenty."

He smirked and ran up to get towels while I curled my knees to my chest.

"H-h-how are you n-not c-cold?" I demanded when he came back and wrapped several towels around me.

"I'm from Minnesota, remember?" he smirked and peeled off his wet shirt.

A gust of wind picked up right after, and he groaned.

"Okay, move over," he said quickly, and I opened up the towels so he could slide in with me.

Logan started to wrap his arms around me but stopped and yelled.

"Holy crap, you're shirt's soaking!" he shivered, pulling his arms back, "No wonder you're freezing!"

Quickly, I grabbed the bottom of my tank top with my right hand and pulled it up, peeling it off of my skin. I tossed it onto the sand and wrapped myself up in the towel even tighter.

He wrapped his arms around me and I pressed my side against his.

"How are you so warm?" I demanded, my cheek pressed against his shoulder.

"How are you so _cold_?" he shivered, his arms tightening.

I shrugged and squeezed my eyes shut, burying my face in my knees.

"How's your side?" he asked hesitantly after a few moments.

"A bit sore, but okay," I responded quietly.

"And your hand?"

"Barely feel it."

"That's good," he murmured, absent-mindedly running his fingertips along my arm.

"It's been eleven years now," I told him softly.

"Casey?" he asked simply, and I nodded.

"It's been eleven years and I still miss him every day." I turned to look at him, and he brushed a stray tear off my cheek with his fingertip.

"It's okay to miss him," Logan murmured, brushing my hair out of my face, "But he'd want you to move on. You can't be stuck in the past for the rest of your life."

I nodded and smiled at him gratefully, wiping away the tears on my cheeks.

"Why don't you go back to the party?" I suggested, "I need a little time to myself-to think about some things."

"Are you sure?" he asked hesitantly.

I nodded and gave him a small smile, "I'm okay."

"Okay," he replied, pursing his lips, "Just don't get into too much trouble, Birthday Girl."

I mock saluted him, and he smirked, grabbing his shirt and walking toward the party.

Leaning back on my elbows, I stared at the waves, watching the sun set on the horizon. After a few moments, I heard footsteps near me, and a boy said, "She's over here!"

I turned toward the voice and saw three model-looking guys walking toward me.

"Hey, Birthday Girl," one said, a mischievous look in his eyes.

"Hi," I said slowly.

"Grab her!" a second boy said suddenly, and my eyes widened in terror as one boy covered my mouth and the other two grabbed my legs and torso.

I screamed underneath the boy's hand, but no one heard me over the music.

They ran with me to the pier and stopped at the edge.

"One," the first boy yelled as the other two began to swing me.

"Angie?" I heard Logan say into the microphone on the stage a few hundred yards away.

"Two," the boy continued, and I was swung higher.

"Angie!" Logan yelled, and I was tossed into the air, screaming. I fell into the waves, and the current pulled me under, too strong for me to fight against with a dead arm.

"_I'm going to die_," I realized as another wave pushed me down.

A though ran through my head that I had refused to let myself think previously. I guessed since I was going to die anyway, I didn't have to lie to myself anymore.

"_I love you, Logan_," was my last thought before everything went black.

I couldn't feel anything for what felt years. Then there was a searing pain in my throat and nose, and something was pounding on my chest.

"Angie, wake up," I heard someone plead.

"Please, Angie, you have to wake up." Suddenly, air was forced into my lungs, followed by more pushes on my chest.

"Come on," the voice whispered. On the tenth shove, waver flew up my throat, and I gagged, coughing it out.

My eyes fluttered open and I blinked, my vision blurry and covered in black spots. After a few moments, things came into focus, and I saw someone bending over me.

"Logan?" I whispered, my voice scratchy and raw.

"Angie," he breathed in relief and hugged me.

"Why are you wet?" I asked dazedly after he laid me back down.

"I saw those guys throw you in the water," he replied, his jaw clenching in rage, "So I jumped in after you."

"You _what_?" I demanded, starting to sit up, but he pushed me back down gently.

"I jumped in after you," he repeated, brushing my cheek lightly.

"Why would-how could- you can't do that!" I answered frantically.

"I'm a good swimmer, Angie," he murmured, smiling while concern stayed in his eyes.

I glared at him, saying, "You can't risk your life for me! Not after-" I stopped, realizing I couldn't tell him what I wanted to say.

"After what?" he asked quietly.

"_Not after I fell for you_," I thought, but said, "Nothing."

He frowned but didn't reply and called over to people behind me.

"She's okay," Logan called, "Bring towels; she's freezing."

Soon after, Kendall, Carlos, James, and Harmony rushed over to me, hugging me before wrapping me in towels.

"Oh, Lina, we were so scared!" Harmony cried, hugging me tightly.

"Sorry," I answered quietly.

"Kind of a crappy birthday party, huh?" Kendall joked quietly, and I smirked.

"I've had worse," I responded, pretending I wasn't freaked out about the fact that I was closer than I'd ever been to dying.

Everyone but Logan laughed at that, and I glanced at him concernedly.

"Well, now that you're okay, you still have time to watch the fireworks," Kendall told me, and I nodded trying to be enthusiastic.

I started to stand up, but as soon as I tried, black spots clouded my vision, and my head spun. Sitting down quickly, I put my hands over my temples and squeezed my eyes shut, muttering, "Head rush."

"Logan, why don't you take Angie to the look-out point?" James suggested, "We'll go tell everyone she's all right."

Logan nodded, and Kendall, James, Harmony, and Carlos hugged me before walking back to the party.

After they were gone, Logan scooped me up carefully and started to walk toward a gradually inclining hill.

"I don't need to be carried," I murmured, frowning, but rested my cheek against his shoulder. I never said I didn't _like_ it.

"Sure, sure," he responded sarcastically as he slowly made his way up the hill.

After about a minute or so, we were at the top of the hill, and he gently put me down. Quietly, he sat down next to me, and I leaned into his side as he leaned back on his elbows.

"Are you okay?" Logan asked gently, but I didn't answer.

"Angie?" he pushed, and I shook my head slowly, my lip trembling. Quickly, I sat up, distancing myself from him.

He touched my arm softly and said, "Talk to me."

I shuddered, and something inside me just broke. I was done pushing him away. It was stupid, and I would most likely hate myself for it later, but in that moment, I didn't care. Before I could change my mind, I turned around, and before I knew it, I was kissing him.

Carefully, he put his hands on my shoulders, and for a moment, I thought he was kissing me back. Then, I realized he was pushing me away.

I stumbled away from him, shock and embarrassment clear in my expression.

"Wait," he said, his voice strained.

"Why?" I demanded, tears threatening to spill over my cheeks, "So I can make a fool of myself again?"

"No, just… stop," he whispered, running his fingers through his hair.

I crossed my legs and put my hand sin my lap, tears threatening to spill as I waited for him to continue.

"Why now?" he asked quietly, "What changed suddenly?"

I paused for a moment before saying, "I was tired of fighting my feelings for you. And I know it's completely selfish and wrong and stupid because there are things about me that I can't tell you, yet. And when I was out there drowning, knowing I was going to die like Casey did, the only thing I could think about was how much I need to tell you that."

He blinked slowly, staring at me with wide brown eyes.

"This would be the part where you say something," I murmured, my heart racing in fear of rejection.

Instead of answering, he pulled me close to him and pressed his lips against mine. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arm around his neck, threading my fingers into his hair. His lips were cold and tasted like salt, but I didn't care; it was by far the best kiss I had ever had. Electricity ran all the way down to my toes, and I smiled against his lips.

"What is it?" Logan asked, smirking as he pulled away slightly.

"It's just nice to have something good happen once in a while," I grinned shyly.

He nodded in agreement and pulled me into his side, kissing my temple. We lay down in silence for a few moments before Logan spoke.

"You know I'll wait for you, right?" he murmured.

I tilted my head up to look at him and raised a brow.

"For whatever you can't tell me right now," he explained, "I'll wait for you."

Those few words were so sweet that they brought tears to my eyes, and I whispered, "Thank you," before reaching up to peck him on the lips.

"Anytime," he said, a small smile playing on his lips.

"Angie, look," he told me excitedly, pointing to the horizon as he brought us to a sitting position.

My eyes followed the direction his finger was pointing, and I saw fireworks lighting up the night sky.

"Oh," I breathed in awe, my eyes wide.

"So beautiful," I heard Logan murmur, and I turned to look at him; he was staring at me, his gaze unwavering.

I felt my cheeks grow warm, and I turned back to the fireworks, a small smile tugging at my lips.

Logan wrapped his long arms around my waist, and I leaned into him, relishing in the comfort I felt from his touch.

We sat in comfortable silence, watching the fireworks dance across the sky, and for a moment, I felt happy for the first time in what felt ages-that is until I saw the black suit at the bottom of the hill.


	11. Chapter 11

**Heyy thanks for keeping up with this story! I know it's a long one, so thanks for stickin with it **

Chapter 11

"Not now," I pleaded silently, watching Hawk's minion searching the beach. I sat up quickly, my heart racing in fear.

"What's wrong?" Logan asked, worried.

"Nothing," I responded too quickly, so Logan saw through it.

"Angie," he pressed, putting his hand on my shoulder. I calmed a bit at his touch and turned to give him a forced smile.

"I just have to take care of something," I told him, faking nonchalance when I couldn't pull off cheerfulness.

"I'll be right back," I told him, kissing him softly, "I promise."

He studied my face carefully before nodding and murmuring, "Okay."

He kissed my cheek, and I stood up, wobbling as I waited for the black spots to clear from my vision. When I could see clearly again, I made my way down the sandy decline, trying to focus on breathing deeply to calm my nerves.

By the time I made it to the bottom, the man in the black suit was waiting for me.

"Mr. Hawk wishes to see you," the man told me in a quiet, deep voice.

"Why?" I asked cautiously, folding my right arm across my abdomen and wrapping my fingers over my left elbow.

"He wants to wish you a happy birthday," he said, and the phrase would have been harmless had I not heard the underlying malice in his voice.

"Well now he has, so if you'll excuse me, I'll be going now," I said politely and turned around, but the man grabbed my wrist roughly.

"Hawk will tell you in person," he said quietly, and I froze in panic.

"Follow me," he commanded, turning around and walking away. I looked over my shoulder at the top of the hill where I found Logan looking at me with concern.

I gave him a tight smile as the man put his hand on my back, impatiently pushing me toward his sleek black Mercedes.

After pushing me into the car, the man shut the door and slid in behind the wheel, speeding away from the beach.

It took about an hour to get to Hawk Records, and I sat quietly in the back the entire time, praying the nameless man didn't see me kiss Logan. I couldn't bare it if Hawk used Logan against me.

"My dear, Evangeline," Hawk greeted me as I entered his office.

"Hello," I replied, cautiously sitting down in one of the plus armchairs.

"I hear you turned 16 today," he smiled too sweetly, "Happy Birthday."

"Thank you," I said politely, playing along with his charade.

"My assistant, Julian," he continued, gesturing to the man who found me on the beach, "Tells me you had an _excellent_ time."

My heart dropped; he must know about Logan. My worst fear was coming true.

"That Logan boy is charming, isn't he?" he smiled sinisterly, "It shouldn't surprise me that you've fallen for him already."

By that time, I couldn't remember how to breathe, and I could feel my blood run cold.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I managed to whisper.

"Oh, Evangeline," Hawk sighed, "This would go so much more easily if we agreed not to lie to one another."

I flinched and bit my lip, not speaking because I knew he wasn't finished.

"So what have you found out about Big Time Rush?"

"Nothing," I replied calmly, trying to get over my complete lack of lying skills.

"Really?" he asked, disbelief coating his voice, "Nothing at all?"

"No," I replied firmly.

"That's too bad," Hawk said, his face falling, "I was so hoping I wouldn't have to hurt your little boyfriend."

Tears of rage and frustration welled in my eyes, and I whispered, "Please, don't hurt him."

"Ah, so you do like this boy," Hawk smirked.

I didn't move or make a sound, unable to fathom how a person could be so cruel.

"Now I ask you again, do you know anything?" he said, standing up and leaning across his desk.

I shrunk back into the chair, my lip trembling as I nodded.

He smiled and sat back down, saying, "I knew you wouldn't disappoint me."

"Well, let's hear it then."

"A song," I managed to whisper, "He showed me a song they're going to show Gustavo on Wednesday."

"Oh, wonderful," he beamed," I supposed you remember it, correct?"

I shook my head, my stomach twisting in fear.

"Now, now, Evangeline, you don't want anything to happen to Logan, do you?"

I bent my head and bit my lip, clenching my hand into a fist before I started singing.

_Oh, yeah_

_(Oh, yeah, oh, yeah)_

_Oh, yeah_

_(Oh, yeah, oh, yeah)_

_So tell me who am I supposed to be?_

_What I gotta do to get you close to me?_

_If I run away tonight will you follow me?_

_C'mon, c'mon, c'mon_

_(Oh, yeah)_

_I see you standing there all alone_

_Knowing you've been wanting me to say hello_

'_Cause when the lights go flashing everybody tonight _

_It's on, it's on, it's on_

_Say anything you want, I turn the music on_

'_Cause, baby, we ain't going nowhere_

_I'll leave it all behind to be with you tonight_

_And everybody's screaming, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah_

_(Oh, yeah, oh, yeah)_

_Screaming, oh, yeah_

_(Oh, yeah, oh, yeah)_

_Screaming, oh, yeah_

_(Oh, yeah, oh, yeah)_

_Screaming, oh, yeah, yeah_

_And now it's time I gotta make a move_

_We could be together if you only knew_

'_Cause life's too short and we got nothing to lose_

_C'mon, c'mon, c'mon_

_(Oh, yeah)_

_I can't seem to get you out of my mind_

_And I ain't gonna stop until I make you mine_

_I just gotta make it to you by the end of the night_

_Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh_

_Say anything you want, I turn the music on_

'_Cause, baby, we ain't going nowhere_

_I'll leave it all behind to be with you tonight_

_And everybody's screaming, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah_

_(Oh, yeah, oh, yeah)_

_Screaming, oh, yeah_

_(Oh, yeah, oh, yeah)_

_Screaming, oh, yeah_

_(Oh, yeah, oh, yeah)_

_Screaming, oh, yeah, yeah_

_I know that night is ending_

_And time just keeps on running out_

_I gotta find my way to you_

_Oh, yeah_

_Say anything you want, I turn the music on_

'_Cause, baby, we ain't going nowhere_

_I'll leave it all behind to be with you tonight_

_And everybody's screaming, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah_

_(Oh, yeah, oh, yeah)_

_Screaming, oh, yeah_

_(Oh, yeah, oh, yeah)_

_Screaming, oh, yeah_

_(Oh, yeah, oh, yeah)_

_Screaming, oh, yeah_

_(Oh, yeah, oh, yeah)_

_Oh, yeah_

_(Oh yeah, oh, yeah)_

_(Oh, yeah, oh, yeah)_

_C'mon_

_(Oh, yeah, oh, yeah)_

_I wanna here you say_

_(Oh, yeah, oh, yeah)_

Tears slipped down my cheeks when I finished, and Hawk clapped slowly, a triumphant smile on his face.

"Wonderful, Evangeline," he chuckled, "Absolutely wonderful."

I didn't answer, continuing to stare at my lap.

"Thank you for your cooperation," Hawk said after a moment, "I'll send Julian when I need you again."

I took that as my cue to leave, so I stood up quickly and bolted out of Hawk Records.

I couldn't do this anymore; this had gone too far. I was putting everyone I loved in danger. I ran down the street and stopped at the entrance of a Hilton hotel, pausing only long enough to catch my breath.

I breathed in deeply through my nose before walking calmly through the door and stepping into the empty elevator.

I pushed the button to the top floor and leaned against the wall, shutting my eyes.

As the elevator creaked up, I suddenly reminded myself of Bella from _Twilight_: of her certainty when facing James in that ballet studio that she was saving the ones she loved. I wondered briefly what Logan would say if he knew what I was about to do.

"_No,"_ I thought firmly. Logan was on a beach an hour away, hopefully having forgotten about me coming back. I couldn't bring myself to think of Harmony or Casey. Thinking about them would make me second-guess myself, and I couldn't afford to do that now. Harmony would be all right; she could leave LA, marry James-someday- have a big family like she always wanted. Hawk would leave her alone once I was gone.

The elevator dinged harshly, and I stepped out, walking to the end of the hall to a door that read, "Roof Access." The cool breeze I felt before was intensified up here, and I shivered, crossing my right arm over my chest.

I felt an overwhelming sense of finality as I walked toward the edge of the roof. A small part of my brain cowered at the thought of facing the unknown. There was no way to tell for sure what happened after someone died, but I was ready to face it. I was ready to give up my dreams of being a singer and getting married and having kids. I was ready to never see Paris or the Louvre or Venice.

I stepped up on the ledge and closed my eyes; I was ready to die.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey, guys! I really don't have an excuse for why this took so long except for the fact that I'm just lazy and working on another book ;) Thanks so much to my loyal readers- I'll try to upload the next chapter sooner than last time! All feedback (negative helps just as much as positive!) is greatly appreciated **

Chapter 12 (Logan's POV)

I knew something was wrong the second that creepy guy in the suit pushed Angie into the car. So, of course, I had our driver follow the sleek black Mercedes. It took about an hour to arrive at our destination, and with a sick twisting in my gut, I realized it was one of Hawk's assistants taking Angie to Hawk Records.

"What would you like to do, sir?" the driver asked, and I sighed.

"Please, it's Logan," I told him.

"Yes, sir," the driver said, and I rolled my eyes.

A few moments later, I saw Angie sprint out of Hawk Records; she was sobbing.

"Wait here," I said to the driver quickly and ran after her.

After a few blocks, she turned into the Hilton Hotel, and my brows furrowed in confusion; what would she do there?

It wasn't until I saw her push the button to the top floor that the sinking suspicion grew in the pit of my stomach; she was going to the roof.

In a split second, I was sprinting full speed to the staircase, climbing each floor in no time. I briefly wondered if I was having an adrenaline rush, and how bad the crash would be if I were. I couldn't worry about that for long though; it wasn't important. All that mattered was Angie.

Finally, after what felt ages, I burst through the door to the roof, but I stopped in my tracks when I saw her. The scene was too terrifying for my mind to process it immediately. It was Angie; I could tell even though her back was to me. But what was she doing up here? And why was she… on… the ledge?

"Angie?" I asked slowly, carefully, so I wouldn't startle her.

"Logan?" she asked, turning her head toward me.

"Sweetie, what are you doing?" I asked calmly, taking a small step forward and showing her my palms.

"I'm sorry, Logan," she sniffled, her beautiful violet eyes rimmed with red, "I have to do this."

"No, Angie, please. You don't. Whatever it is, there is another way. Please, let me help you," I begged, taking another careful step toward her.

"No, you can't," she said, a hopeless look in her eyes, "It's all my fault. There's nothing anyone can do."

"Please," I repeated, continuing to advance, "I need you to stay with me, Angie. I don't know why, but I _need _you to stay with me."

"You'll be okay," she whispered, turning back toward the edge, "Everything will be okay."

My throat constricted painfully, and panic began to take over. How could this one girl have such a hold on me after just a few days? How was I going to save the most amazing girl I'd ever met- heck, the girl I _loved_- from herself?

"I'll do anything," I pleaded, so close to her I could pull her away with just a few more steps, "Just don't do this."

"I have to," she repeated more firmly this time, "I'm sorry."

"No," I said firmly, "Think about Harmony. Think about _Casey_." She flinched, so I kept going.

"What would Casey say if he saw you? Do you honestly think he would be fine with you doing this? I know I'm not. I will _never_ be fine if you do this."

"Everything is so messed up," she whispered helplessly, "I don't know if I can fix it."

"You won't be alone," I told her, "We can figure this out- together. Just give me your hand."

She relaxed slightly, and I reached forward slowly, not wanting to make any sudden movements. Finally, I slipped my hand around her pale, thin fingers, and she collapsed into my arms, sobbing.

"Shh, sh, it's okay," I crooned, sitting down gently with my arms still wrapped around her thin frame.

"You're okay."

I kissed the crown of her head, and she pressed her cheek against my chest, right over my heart. I let her cry into my shirt, and I rocked her back and forth gently.

"Don't ever do that to me again, okay?" I warned quietly, my cheek pressed against the roots of her auburn curls.

"Okay," she nodded, and her crying subsided a bit.

"So," I began, trying to cheer her up, "I'm that bad of a kisser, huh?"

She laughed weakly, kissing the side of my neck, and I shivered.

"Best kiss ever," Angie said shyly, and I laughed.

"Me, too," I responded, pulling her tighter against me.

"We should head home," I told her softly, kissing her temple, "Everyone is probably worried about you by now."

"Okay," she whispered in agreement, and I stood up with Angie cradled in my arms.

"Logan," she protested, squirming slightly.

"Angie, please," I rolled my eyes, "You're not even remotely heavy, so please, just let me take care of you."

She sighed a bit in exasperation before she nuzzled her cheek into the crook of my neck.

When I stepped out of the elevator to the lobby, I felt Angie's cheeks burn up, and she whispered self-consciously, "Everyone's staring at us."

"So let them look," I gave her a reassuring smile and kissed the top of her head; she ducked her head into my shoulder, but I could feel her nearly imperceptible smile against my skin.

I walked her quickly to the car because it was getting cold, and she was shivering.

"Can you take us to the Palm Woods?" I asked the driver after climbing into the car with Angie.

"Yes, sir," he answered, and I sighed.

"Logan," I reminded him once again.

He didn't answer, so I pulled Angie closer to me, re-focusing on her.

Angie tucked her feet up beside her and leaned into me. I smiled and wrapped my arms around her waist, marveling at how perfectly she fit into my side. We didn't speak, but we didn't need to. Just having her safe in my arms was enough. After a few minuets, her breathing evened out, and I sighed in relief. I tilted my head slightly so I could see her face. Her eyes were closed, her features relaxed and as beautiful as ever. Now that she was asleep, I let the fear and worry show on my face.

How was I going to help Angie? I had no idea what horrible things she was going through; what had Hawk done to her that had pushed her so close to the edge? I gritted my teeth in anger; Hawk wasn't going to get away with it if he had done anything to hurt her.

"We're here, s- I mean Logan," the driver told me, and I smiled in gratitude. Carefully as to not wake her up, I lifted Angie into my arms bridal-style and walked into the Palm Woods.

Carlos and Kendall were sitting anxiously in the lobby as James tried to calm Harmony down. She was crying hysterically, fear clear in her expression.

She looked over as I walked in, and her jaw dropped.

"Lina!" she cried, crushing over.

"Shh," I shushed her quietly, as Angie was still asleep.

"What happened?" Harmony asked quietly after making sure she wasn't injured. The guys had come over by then, and James had his arm protectively around Harmony's shoulders.

"I took Angie to watch the fireworks, but then this guy in a suit showed up and took her to Hawk Records." Harmony's face went pale at the mention of Hawk, but I continued.

"I followed them because I got a bad feeling, and then-" I broke off because I had a feeling Angie wouldn't want me to tell everyone what she almost did.

"Then I saw her run out crying, so I ran after her and got her to calm down enough to get her in the car, and she fell asleep."

Harmony gave me a careful look, probably knowing I left something out of the story. She dropped it, though, and pecked me on the cheek.

"Thank you," she told me, and I nodded, smiling a tiny bit.

"Can you bring her up to our room?" Harmony asked, "I'll be there in a minute."  
>"Sure," I responded, turning toward the elevator. I would have taken the stairs, but the adrenaline rush from earlier had finally started to wear off, and my legs were starting to feel like lead blocks. By the time I made it to Angie and Harmony's room, I was breathing heavily, and my legs were trembling. Just after I laid Angie down and pulled a blanket over her, I fell heavily to the ground, unable to stand any longer.<p>

"Logan?" I heard Angie mutter sleepily.

"_Crap_," I thought; I had woken her up. I slowly made my way to a sitting position before kneeling next to the bed.

"I'm here; sorry I woke you." She didn't answer, so I looked at her face. Her eyebrows were scrunched together, and her eyes were closed. She was still sleeping, but it seemed like she was having a nightmare.

"No," she murmured, tears running down her cheeks, "Don't hurt him."

My eyebrows scrunched together in worry; who was she so concerned about?

"Angie," I murmured, smoothing the hair out of her face and holding her hand so she wouldn't punch me again- yes, again; I lied when I told her she had punched the table. Sue me.

Her eyes fluttered open, and she looked around drowsily. Once she figured out where she was, she sat up quickly and ran the fingers of her right hand through her soft curls.

"It's okay," I told her softly, groaning a bit at the soreness in my legs when I sat on the edge of her bed.

She heard my noise of protest and looked at me quickly, worry clouding her expression.

"What's wrong?" Angie demanded, running her hand across my cheek.

"Adrenaline rush," I told her sheepishly, "I just need to lay down for a bit."

A pained look flashed across her face, and she ducked her head.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, biting her lip.

"The only thing you should be sorry for is nearly making me lose you," I answered softly and lifted her chin up with my fingertips.

"We'll get through this together," I told her sincerely, kissing her on the forehead gently.

"I'll let you get some sleep," I murmured and stood up shakily.

Before I could leave, Angie grabbed my hand hesitantly and whispered, "Stay." I turned around to look at her; her round, violet eyes stared at me. She looked terrified and sad like a small, lost child.

I sat back down on the bed and lifted my legs on top of the covers. Carefully, I tucked Angie into my side, my arm around her thin shoulders with her head on my chest.

When I heard her breathing slow and even out, I whispered, "Always."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13 (Angie's POV)

I didn't know how long I was asleep, but for the first time in a while, I wasn't plagued by nightmares. When my eyes slid open, I turned a bit in Logan's arms to look at his face. His eyes were closed, and his dark lashes cast long shadows across his cheekbones. I was stupid for thinking that killing myself would solve anything; I had to fight. I had to live because there was still so much more I needed to do. For starters, I needed to tell Logan the truth. Carefully extricating myself from Logan's sleeping embrace, I tiptoed over to Harmony's bed and tapped her shoulder lightly.

"Harmony," I whispered.

She mumbled something incoherently and rolled over. I rolled my eyes and shook her shoulder. Her eyes snapped open, and she looked at me drowsily, sitting up quickly in alarm when she figured out who it was.

"What's wrong?" she asked worriedly, automatically expecting bad news. I put my finger over my lips and gestured for her to follow me into the living room.

After shutting the bedroom door quietly behind me, I turned to Harmony and said, "We need to tell the guys."

"Tell the guys what?" Logan asked, walking through the door while rubbing his eyes and yawning. I glanced at Harmony, and her eyes widened, pleading with me.

"That Harmony and I have decided to sign with Rocque Records," I lied quickly, mentally slapping myself.

Logan's face lit up instantly, and he rushed over to us, spinning Harmony around in a hug before he came over to me and planted a warm kiss on my lips. Harmony blinked in confusion, and I laughed nervously.

"That's amazing! Come on, let's go wake up with guys!" Logan grabbed my hand enthusiastically, but when he started to pull me forward, his leg wobbled, and I clung to his chest with his arm over my shoulder so he wouldn't fall.

"Logan?" I asked, panicking.

"I'm okay; legs are just a bit sore," he laughed, but I frowned.

"Seriously, I'm _okay_," he assured me, demonstrating the veracity of his statement by standing on his own.

"Hey," he said gently after seeing I had yet to calm down, "Stop worrying so much. We're in this together, remember?" He placed his hands on either side of my face, and I nodded. Before I could respond, Harmony giggled "awww", effectively ruining the moment. I sighed and bent my head, laughing as I felt my cheeks heat up. I took Logan's hand and walked out the door, turning around to give Harmony a what-the-heck look before we got to the guys' suite. Why was she suddenly against telling the truth?

Logan opened the door to the guys' suite, and he peered around, probably looking for Kendall's mom. When he didn't see anyone, he motioned for us to come inside.

"And just where have you been, mister?" a stern, motherly voice asked, and Logan winced.

"Hi, Mrs. Knight," Logan said sheepishly, turning around. Mrs. Knight looked more concerned than angry, but her thin arms were crossed, and she gave Logan an "I'm waiting" rise of her eyebrows.

"I stayed with Angie to make sure she was all right," he replied, tightening his grip on my hand a bit.

"Well, that was very nice of you, but tell me next time, would you?" She was playful, then, but she continued the angry façade by smacking Logan's head lightly.

"So," Mrs. Knight said, turning to me, "This is the famous Angie. Logan hasn't stopped talking about you since he met you." I blushed and ducked my head, and Logan groaned in embarrassment.

"It's a good thing he moved on from that River girl; I never did like her much. Besides, it's obvious that Logan and the boys like you and Harmony much more than they liked her."

"_Okay_," Logan interrupted, pulling me along, "No more embarrassing Logan."

Harmony and I waved to Mrs. Knight before we went into the guys' room. Just before Logan could throw pillows at the guys, I put a hand on Logan's arm to stop him.

He raised a brow at me, and I smirked, saying, "I have an idea."

Walking quietly, I grabbed a guitar leaning against the wall and handed it to Harmony.

"Beautiful Day?" she asked, smirking. I nodded and winked, and then Harmony started playing. When the intro ended, I began to sing.

The heart is a bloom

Shoots up through the stony ground

There's no room

No space to rent in this town

You're out of luck

And the reason that you had to care

The traffic is stuck

And you're not movin' anywhere

You thought you'd found a friend

To take you out of this place

Someone you could lend a hand

In return for grace

It's a beautiful day

Sky falls, you feel like

It's a beautiful day

Don't let it get away

You're on the road

But you've got no destination

You're in the mud

In the maze of her imagination

You love this town

Even if that doesn't ring true

You've been all over

And it's been all over you

It's a beautiful day

Don't let it get away

It's a beautiful day

Touch me

Take me to that other place

Teach me now

I know I'm not a hopeless case

See the world in green and blue

See China right in front of you

See the canyons broken by cloud

See the tuna fleets clearing the sea out

See the Bedouin fires at night

See the oil fields at first light

And see the bird with a leaf in her mouth

After the flood all the colors came out

(Day!)

It was a beautiful day

Don't let it get away

Beautiful day

Touch me

Take me to that other place

Reach me

I know I'm not a hopeless case

What you don't have you don't need it now

What you don't know you can feel it somehow

What you don't have you don't need it now

Don't need it now

It was a beautiful day

By the time the song was over, Kendall, Carlos, and James were standing on their beds, singing along in their pajamas.

"Since when do you sing?" Kendall asked, jumping off the bed.

I shrugged and smirked, saying, "Eh, I don't know-always?" Logan laughed and threaded his fingers through mine without hesitation.

"But that's kinda what we came over to talk about," I began, and the guys sat down on their beds excitedly. "Harmony and I are going to sign with Gustavo," I said quickly, not taking the time to beat around the bush.

Kendall's jaw dropped open, James' mouth broke out into a wide grin, and Carlos burst up from the bed and tackled me in a hug, spinning me around. I laughed, and Carlos set me down; Logan glared at Carlos and wrapped his arm around my shoulders possessively. I elbowed Logan and smirked before kissing his cheek in reassurance.

He relaxed immediately, and I smiled before turning back to the conversation.

"When did all this happen?" Kendall asked.

"A few days ago; Gustavo offered, and we just decided we wanted to do it." I smiled as genuinely as I could.

"That's awesome!" James exclaimed and hugged Harmony enthusiastically.

I nodded in agreement, and amongst Carlos' cheers, James' excited chatter, and Harmony's squeals, Kendall had to wave his hands and whistle to get everyone's attention.

"I think that we should have a celebration- since Angie's birthday party sort of ended on a sour note," Kendall suggested; I tensed, and Logan squeezed my shoulder gently, running his thumb against my skin.

"That sounds great," I smiled, and the guys cheered.

"Movie?" Carlos suggested, and I grinned.

"Sounds great!" I exclaimed.

"You're going to make us watch a chick flick, aren't you?" James groaned, and I made a gagging noise.

"Please," I giggled, "We watch action, or I'm out." All the guys' jaws dropped, and Harmony just smirked.

"What?" I asked, growing self-conscious.

"I've decided- you're my new best friend," Carlos exclaimed, and Logan let go of me, turning to Carlos with a mock-hurt expression.

"You replaced me so easily!" Logan said theatrically, a hand over his chest.

Carlos put a hand on Logan's shoulder and said, "Sorry, bro; I guess Angie's just cooler than you are."

A chorus of "Ohhh"s answered Carlos' remark, mine being the loudest.

"You just think you're so funny, don't you?" Logan asked me, smirking. I nodded and stuck my tongue out at him, but he just smiled, a mischievous glint in his eyes. Before I could register what was happening, Logan had a pillow in his hand, and he whacked me in the arm with it. My jaw dropped, and Logan just laughed smugly.

"Oh, it's _so_ on!" I giggled and grabbed a pillow, smacking him with a satisfying thump.

"PILLOW FIGHT!" James did a battle cry, grabbing two pillows and shaking them above his head.

About ten minutes later, all six of us were sprawled on the beds, exhausted from our battle. James and Kendall ended up teaming up, and as they were the biggest, they ended up winning by a landslide- we surrendered soon after they made their alliance.

I was the first to stand up and asked cheerfully, "All right, who's up for the movie now?"

Logan rolled into a sitting position while everyone else groaned. He took my hands gently and stood up, taking one hand out of mine to quickly drape it over my shoulder.

"So adorable," Harmony squealed, and I blushed, trying to hide my embarrassment by rolling my eyes at her.

"Ooh, she's blushing!" Carlos teased, and I glared at him.

"Can we go now, please?" I begged, and Logan chuckled, pulling me into his side.

"Come on," Logan laughed, waving everyone along, "Get dressed so we can go!"

"Yes, sir!" Carlos saluted, and I laughed. He was just so adorable- he reminded me of a friend I had in elementary school, before I met Harmony. I thought her name was Natasha, if I was remembering correctly.

"Why don't you and Harmony go watch TV or something?" Logan suggested, "I need to get changed, too." I smiled and kissed his cheek before pulling Harmony out the door with me.

As soon as I shut the door, I turned to harmony and whispered fiercely, "What the heck, Harmony! Why can't we tell the guys!" She hung her head, and I felt a brief pang of guilt for being so harsh.

"I know- I know it seems horrible. But I realized when Hawk's guy came yesterday that he knows too much about us. If we leave or go against him in any way, he'll hurt the guys. We can't put them in danger."

"So-" I began, grasping for something- anything- "maybe we could tell them that they were in danger. I mean-" I broke off at the look on Harmony's face- it was a stupid idea.

"What do we do?" I whispered, but I already knew the answer.

"I know you don't want to live a lie- neither do I. And I know this is going to hurt, but it's the right thing to do. We have to leave them and make sure Hawk knows we do."

I bit my lip and tried to push back the lump in my throat. This fear of hurting Logan- of living in a world where he hated me- threatened to consume me. I couldn't believe it was happening, but at the same time, at the back of my mind, I guess I knew it was inevitable. This was real life- happy endings aren't guaranteed. I nodded and looked at her- she seemed to be on the verge of tears, like me.

Suddenly, we heard the guys coming, and we quickly wiped under our eyes, making sure it didn't look like we'd been crying. Logan walked out of the door first, and he beamed when he laid eyes on me. I couldn't help but smile in response- this was going to be impossible.

"Ready?" Logan asked, and I nodded as he threaded his fingers through mine. We walked toward the door, and I glanced over my shoulder, meeting Harmony's broken stare. I pursed my lips, trying to maintain my composure in front of the guys- in front of Logan. We could give ourselves this brief respite before everything came crashing down around us.


End file.
